


Stargazer Louis

by thecheshirepussycat



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Deaf Character, M/M, Making Out, Multi, mature themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-03
Updated: 2013-04-21
Packaged: 2017-12-07 10:00:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 36,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/747233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecheshirepussycat/pseuds/thecheshirepussycat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis has been deaf ever since a he was a little kid. Some of his only comforts now are the colors and fragrances of flowers. Harry could care less about flowers and prefers the beautiful melodies of his music. How could two people so different find love and maybe something else they didn't know they were missing in each other?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Bolded words are written and italicized words in quotes are signed words.

When you are young things seem so easy. Life is fun. All people are nice to you. At least that’s how they were for Louis Tomlinson. Even at age 6 Louis was known as the loud, vibrant, cute little kid that lived with his mother and a sister. Everyone in his neighborhood knew who he was, mostly because he made a point to introduce himself to everyone. At least for a little while. You see something happened one fateful winter’s day to Louis, and it would change him forever.

It all started with a snow storm and a Louis who wouldn’t listen when his mother told him to stay inside. I have to go play while it’s snowing! He had told her. He needed to run around and collect snowflakes in his hair. So he did. When his mother wasn’t looking he snuck out the back door and ran into the storm. He did manage to put on his warmest winter coat, gloves, boots, the whole works; how was he supposed to know it wouldn’t be enough?

Behind Louis’ house was a beautiful forest. He always loved running through the trees and hearing the birds chirp, but he never did take a moment to actually look at his surroundings. He was 6 years old! That meant he had plenty of time to look at things, but for now he just wanted play in things. Like now for instance, he was running through his beloved wood and forgetting to look for the small pond that was in the middle. By the time he did notice it, it was too late.

_Crack!_

“What was that?” Louis asked himself. He stopped walking and finally looked around.

_Crack!_

And there it was again, that strange cracking noise that seemed to be coming from below him. He looked down and at first all he could find was snow, but then he saw it. He bent down to wipe the snow away and yes, that was ice. A rather thin layer of ice was covering the pond. He looked back and saw the cracks in the ice leading to his feet. Louis knew better than to move at this point.

“Mummy!” he tried to call out to his mother for help but was met with silence.

His breathing sped up and when he tried to take a step forward the ice broke even more.

“MUM!” he called out again, not able to move.

Louis began to cry, he wasn’t even supposed to be outside! He was panting as the tears ran down his face and he continued to yell for his mother, or for anybody to help him off the ice.

He tried to take another step forward and that was it. His foot broke straight through the ice and his whole body was pulled in after it. He screamed as he hit the cold water below and tried to grab to something, anything to keep above it.

He thrashed around in the water as he tried to swim to safety, but it was so, so cold. “MUMMY PLEASE! HELP ME! HELP ME!”

“LOUIS!” whipped his head around and saw his mother run through the trees and stop dead before hitting the ice. “Oh Louis! Why did you leave?”

“I’m sorry mummy! I’m sorry! Please help me!” Louis’ head bobbed in and out of the water, his energy dropping as he felt himself slipping away.

His mother removed her jacket and jumped into the ice after him. “It’s okay Boo, mummy’s got you. It’s okay.” She pulled him through the ice and out of the pond as fast as she could. She wrapped her dry jacket around him and held him close.

“It’s cold, mum. It’s so cold.” Louis’ voice was so small and his lips were blue. The tears he cried were frozen to his face and he wouldn’t stop shivering.

She lifted him up and began to run back through the trees. “I know Boo, I know. But you will be okay, I’m going to get you warm.” 

“Mum,” Louis whimpered in his mother’s arms.

“Hold on Louis, just hold on. We’re almost there,” She was running faster now and he could see tears falling from her eyes.

“Mum, I’m so cold.” Louis whispered as he slowly closed his eyes. The last thing he heard was his mother crying out his name, before he blacked out completely.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The first thing Louis noticed when he woke up was that his head hurt. A lot. All he could hear was a distant ringing in his ears. He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his hands to his ears. Eventually the ringing stopped.

The second thing Louis noticed was that he was not in his room. The football posters and drawings that normally covered his walls were all gone. He looked around and realized he was in a hospital. _What happened?_ He thought as he looked at the boring white room. Then he remembered. He remembered running through the snow and the trees. He remembered the crack of ice beneath his feet. He remembered being colder than he had ever felt before. And mostly he remembered his mother calling to him and telling him to hold on.

He shook his head wiped the tears from his eyes. He was crying so loudly now, he knew he was. But he didn’t hear a thing. Why couldn’t he hear anything? He sobbed and this time he knew he must have been screaming because he saw a nurse run through the door. She was quickly pushed aside by his mother, who ran to him and threw her arms around him.

He looked right at his mother. Her lips were moving, she seemed frantic, but still Louis heard nothing. He looked into her eyes and he saw deep desperation. She moved her hands onto his cheeks, her lips stopped moving and she was just staring at him. She turned to look at the nurse who looked very confused and ran out of the room. Louis’ mother pulled her son close and he could feel her tears on his skin, but he still heard nothing.

The third thing Louis noticed was a bouquet of flowers. The biggest ones were pink and white and shaped like stars. They had darker pink dots all around them and even from where he was sitting, Louis knew they smelled beautiful. These flowers were surrounded by smaller blue-purple flowers that had two petals and a yellow center.

They were beautiful. Louis smiled knowing they were for him. He just wished that his mother would let go so he could push his face into them and just smell them. And then he wanted to be left alone to just look at them and arrange them. He had never really looked at flowers before. He saw them when he ran through fields but he never stopped to enjoy them.

Now he could feel his mother talking against his neck but he still couldn’t hear her. All he could do was look at the flowers and hold her close.


	2. Daffodils

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bolded words are written and italicized words in quotes are signed words.

A summer sun. That’s exactly what these flowers looked like. There were about ten of them all arranged in a clear vase. They had six bright yellow petals with a circular vibrant orange center. Louis leaned forward and gently breathed in their scent. They almost smelled fruity, but definitely like the spring time. They looked like summer and smelled liked spring. Louis loved that.

Daffodils, a new beginning. Louis thought they were very fitting for his new found situation. His favorite flower shop had closed. He had been going to that flower shop ever since he was little, ever since he first started looking at flowers, ever since the accident those eleven years ago. He found comfort in flowers after that incident. Louis had changed so much because of it; he lost his hearing and retreated into a shell. He was no longer the fun, happy, social kid; instead he was shy and quiet. He only had one friend, Zayn; the only one who didn’t think he was weird after the accident. But he always had his flowers.

This new place wasn’t too bad. Well, it wasn’t new as in it had always been there, it’s just that the other shop was closer Louis’ house. _Styles Arrangements_ was slightly smaller but had a much brighter display of flowers. At the moment Louis was the only one in the store, as it was about to close for the day, but that was how he liked it. It was just easier to be in public alone, that way people wouldn’t try to talk to him. Whenever that happened Louis would try to read their lips, but usually they would talk too fast and when they realized Louis was deaf, they would look at him sadly. This always made Louis uncomfortable, because who were they to pity him? Zayn never pitied Louis, and that was why he kept him around.

Louis picked up the bouquet of Daffodils and made his way through the aisles of flowers to the register, never looking away from his flowers. When he looked up the sight he saw nearly made him drop them completely. Sitting at the register with headphones in, and not really paying attention, was the most beautiful boy Louis had ever seen. He had pale skin and limbs that seemed like they went on for miles. His dark hair was a curly mess upon his head. He was wearing black skinny jeans and a dark Ramones t-shirt. Louis looked at the boy’s face that was the prettiest part. His eyes were closed and his full, pink lips were mouthing something, Louis figured it was the music he was listening to. The boy started smiling at whatever he was listening to and, oh god he has dimples.

Louis stood, stunned, looking at the boy for a short while before coughing. The boy looked up and quickly jerked out of his chair. He started saying something that looked like “Sorry, what can I do for you?” to Louis. He walked up to the center and placed the bouquet down.

“Just these for today?” the boy said.

Louis looked down and nodded his head. He didn’t want to be caught staring at the boy for too long. He watched the price come up on the register and handed him the money. Louis let himself look at the boy’s face one last time and that was a big mistake. He looked right in the boy’s eyes and all he saw he was green. Greener than any stem or leaf Louis had found on his many flowers. It was a green that was brighter than all the trees behind Louis’ house. It was greener than freshly cut grass in the middle of summer. It was so green that it caused Louis’ hand to slip and knock his new flowers on the ground, shattering the vase.

Louis gasped and the boy leapt around the counter as he bent down to collect the flowers. Louis pushed the pieces of glass away and cut his hand on one. He was so embarrassed and he was turning bright red, but what he didn’t know was that the boy was crouched behind him saying “It’s alright. I’ll clean this up. Don’t hurt yourself! Hey what’s wrong with you? They’re just flowers! Come on let me help.”

The boy put his hand on Louis’ shoulder and that made Louis fall back and realize he must have been talking to him. The boy looked confused and was saying something else but Louis was too scared to focus. He got up quickly and dropped the flowers, before running out of the store.

Without looking back Louis ran into the paint shop he had left Zayn in earlier. Luckily Zayn was already paying, so he was easy to find. He turned around to see Louis frantically signing to him.

“Louis! Lou, slow down. What’s wrong?” Zayn said slowly enough for Louis to lip-read.

“ _I’m an idiot that’s what’s wrong._ ” Louis signed back.

“Here come with me.” Zayn grabbed Louis’ hand and led them out to his car. He threw his new paints in the back sat in the driver’s side, with Louis already sitting next to him. “Okay Lou, what’s wrong?”

“ _I went into that flower shop, Styles Arrangements, and I found these beautiful Daffodils like really pretty, and well when I went to pay…_ ” Louis’ hands hesitated before he continued. “ _Well, there was this boy…_ ” he started blushing.

Zayn cocked an eyebrow and smiled at him. “ _A boy? Was he cute?_ ”

Louis nodded his head. “ _But I got all flustered and broke my flowers._ ” Louis looked at the cut on his hand sighed. “ _He was trying to talk to me, but I didn’t know what. He looked a little angry and confused so I just ran out._ ”

Zayn closed his eyes and shook his head. “ _I knew I should have gone with you. I knew it!_ ”

Louis frowned and huffed at him. “ _I don’t need you to baby me, Zayn. I’m perfectly capable and you know it._ ”

“ _I never said you weren’t It’s just that he doesn’t know you and I don’t want you getting into trouble for things out of your control._ ” Zayn reached over and squeezed Louis’ thigh comfortingly. “ _You sure you’re okay?_ ”

Louis took Zayn’s hand in his and nodded his head. Zayn didn’t really believe him, but he left the subject alone.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Harry finished cleaning up the glass and the Daffodils from the ground. What was wrong with that kid? He couldn’t believe that someone could be so strange. But the boy looked really scared for some reason. Harry wasn’t a scary guy; he even smiled at this boy. Of course that was probably because he was gorgeous.

He walked back around to the other side of the counter and closed his eyes then put his headphones back in. He was in the middle of an old Fall Out Boy song when he felt something soft being thrown at his face. He opened one eye and was greeted by a wide smile from a blonde haired, blue eyed boy, who was holding a batch of Irish Orchids.

“Helloooooo Hazza! How are you on this fine day in our final week of summer?” He threw another flower at Harry.

Harry laughed and grabbed the flowers out of his friend’s hands. “Niall, could you not throw the flowers around? My mother will kill me.”

“Sorry, sorry, I couldn’t resist. Your shift almost done today? I’m starved.” Niall said as he hopped up on to the counter.

“Get off of there you oaf!” Harry pushed him off. “Yeah I still have about five minutes. Where’s Liam?”

“I’m back here!” The boys heard a voice shout from the other side of the shop. A few seconds later a boy with big puppy dog brown eyes emerged from the many flowers. “I was just looking at some of the new ones you guys got.”

Harry snickered at him. “You were looking at the flowers? Why?” Harry didn’t actually care much for the flowers.

“I don’t get it. This is your shop and I’m weird for looking at flowers?” Liam questioned.

Harry shook his head. “This is my _family’s_ shop, not mine. I’m just here for the money. Sure they smell nice but I just don’t see any more of an appeal.”

Liam shrugged and looked down; he noticed a piece of glass on the floor. “Hey, Harry. What’s this?” he said as he picked up the tiny shard.

“Oh! Sorry about that. We had a bit of an accident with a vase today. Guess I missed a piece.” Harry took the glass and threw it in the trash.

“We?” The other two boys said whilst raising their eyebrows in unison.

“Umm, yeah… this really strange boy came in to buy some flowers. He knocked them over and when the glass broke he sort of freaked out.” Harry’s brow furrowed, “It was really weird. When I tried to talk to him he wouldn’t listen and then when he finally turned around he just got up and ran away.”

“What did he look like?” Liam asked curiously.

Harry thought for a second, “He was slightly shorter than me. Tan skin, light brown hair, blue eyes, great ass. In fact he was pretty good looking.”

“Oh really? Good looking hmm?” Niall asked jokingly.

“Ha ha. Yes, actually, he was. But he was still really weird. Now let’s go, my shift’s done.” Harry hopped over the counter and led them to the door.

“Alright, hey Josh is gonna meet us at your house.” Niall said.

“Okay, sounds good.” Harry couldn’t wait to get home.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Music was the best thing to ever exist. At least to Harry it was. His love for music began when he was really young and his mother would play Rolling Stones albums in the car. From there he learned to love all kinds of music, from the Beatles to Olly Murs. Eventually, he realized that his love for music had stretched into actual musical ability when he won a school talent competition for singing Hound Dog at age ten. Now here we are seven years later and He is part of a band with his best friends, and they are actually pretty good. So good, in fact, that they were the favorites to win a Battle of the Bands in a few months.

They had been practicing their set list non-stop all summer, because when school started next week, they knew they would become really busy. Harry was pretty confident with their sound but he needed them to be better. If they won this competition they would get a huge record deal, and hopefully a successful future as a real touring band. That was all Harry wanted. He lived for performing and being in front of a cheering crowd, just sharing his music.

Harry was usually so focused during these practices but today something kept slipping into his mind and distracting him. Or rather someone was distracting him. He couldn’t stop thinking about that very strange but very pretty boy from earlier. He was so lost in his thoughts that he missed one of his entrances in his songs.

“Uh, Harry? You alright?” Josh asked from behind him

Harry shook himself out of his thoughts and looked around at his very confused band mates. “What?”

“Well, you were sort of supposed to come in and you didn’t.” Josh said.

“Oh, right. Sorry about that. I was just thinking about something.” Harry said as he sat down. “Maybe we should take a break.”

“Yeah that sounds like a good idea. In the mean time you can tell us more about that boy you were thinking about.” Niall said bluntly.

Harry whipped his head around and stared at Niall, “What?”

“Oh come on! Don’t tell me you weren’t thinking about that guy from the store! I can see it all over your face!” Niall exclaimed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Niall,” Harry said.

Josh stood up from his drums and sat next to Niall. “Who’s this boy from earlier?” he asked.

“Just some very weird, but totally dreamy, kid that smashed a vase in Harry’s flower shop today. And clearly Harry can’t stop thinking about him.” Liam piped up.

“Do you know who he is?” Josh asked.

“ I’ve never seen him before in my life.” Harry stated. He described him once more to Josh and told him the story of what happened that day.

“When you were trying to tell him you wanted to help was he looking at you?” Josh finally asked him.

“No, he didn’t even acknowledge me until touched his shoulder.” Harry told him. “Why?”

“Well, it’s just that he sounds like this guy who was in my Chem class last year. Louis Tomlinson.” Josh said.

“That name sounds familiar.” Liam snapped his fingers and stood up. “Wait! Is he that deaf kid? The one who is always with Zayn Malik?” Liam asked him.

“Yeah that’s him!” Josh stood up with him.

“Oh god, deaf? You mean he can’t hear?” Harry asked them nervously.

Niall laughed at him. “Yeah Harry, that’s generally what that means.”

“So you guys are saying I have been sitting here calling a deaf boy weird all day and getting mad because he broke the glass?” Harry slumped down in his seat. “I feel awful.”

Liam sat down next to him, “Harry don’t feel too bad okay? You didn’t know.”

“No, I should have realized when he didn’t turn around when I was talking to him.” Harry put his head in his hands. “I am a terrible person.”

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay Haz, Louis goes to school with us and the new year is starting next week. Maybe you’ll see him and you can apologize. I’m sure he’ll be alright.” Liam said with his big brown eyes full of pity.

Harry nodded his head in agreement, but he wasn’t going to wait until he miraculously ran into Louis again. Harry hated having strangers on his conscience, so first day of term he was going to seek out Louis, somehow, and get the whole thing sorted. Then he could be done thinking about this boy and move on with his life.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Louis never liked the first day of school, but then again who did? What he did love was the batch of Pink Heather that his mother left by his bed for him every year. With their petite bell shapes and many flowers bunched on one long stem, they were his mother’s way of saying Good Luck whenever he started school. Louis was the flower expert of the family but his mother had learned the most important and basic ones for occasions such as this. He smiled when he saw them waiting for him, like every other year, and plucked them up to smell them. They always smelled so sweet and put him in a positive enough attitude to at least get to the school.

A positive attitude was exactly was Louis needed considering the week he had. Louis hadn’t gone back to the flower shop since then and it was killing him. Louis couldn’t remember the last time he had gone this long without getting new flowers for his house. Lottie, his sister, had even become concerned for him when Friday had rolled around and they threw away flowers, but didn’t replace them. Neither Lottie nor their mother said anything though; they just figured it had something to do with school. Louis didn’t have the heart to tell them it was because he totally embarrassed in front of the really, really hot guy who worked at the shop.

About a day after the incident Louis had Zayn go into the store to see if he knew the boy, and sure enough Zayn knew exactly who he was. He was Harry Styles, and his family owned that shop. And he went to their school. This meant there was a good chance Louis could run into him at any point that day. So, yes, he needed the luck those Pink Heathers could bring. And he needed it bad.

Zayn picked Louis up, just like he had every morning since getting his license, and they made the rather short journey to the school. When they got to the school the boys compared their schedules. Just like every year they had every class together, a feat that was accomplished on purpose so Zayn could translate for Louis, except fourth period, during which Zayn had art and Louis had a free class.

“ _What are you going to do during the free class Lou?_ ” Zayn asked him; although he had a feeling he already knew the answer.

“ _I was just going to go to the garden like every year._ ” Louis told him.

Zayn smiled “ _Of course you are. Let’s get to our first class and get this day over with._ ”

Louis nodded in agreement and followed Zayn to their first class, biology. It went by pretty quickly, but Zayn looked at the curriculum for the year and wanted cry from all the work they would have to do. Their next class was English and that ended up being just dreadful for the both of them.

For Zayn it was dreadful because he was a visual guy, he loved color and shapes, not words. But for Louis, it was dreadful because who should be right there in the front row of their classroom? Harry Styles, the boy from the flower shop. Louis freaked and dragged Zayn to the back of the room. He started signing at Zayn, moving his hands quickly.

“ _He is here! Zayn, the boy, Harry. The one from the flower shop! He is right there in the front row! What do I do?_ ” Louis was panicked.

Zayn grabbed Louis’ hands and soothed his skin with his thumbs to calm him down. “ _Louis, it’s okay. I don’t think he saw you, and if he did, so what? Is it really that big a deal?_ ”

Louis glared at him, “ _Yes it is a big deal. He probably thinks I’m crazy from the way I acted._ ” Louis crossed his hands and sunk down in his seat.

Zayn shook his head and turned to face the front of the class where the teacher was talking attendance. When she got to Louis’ name, Zayn answered for him but both boys saw a head of messy curls turn to the back of the room. Louis sat wide eyed and looked away from the boy. He avoided paying attention for the rest of the class, and wouldn’t even look at anything Zayn was trying to sign to him.

When class was over, and it was time for his free class in the garden, Louis raced to the front of the class, leaving Zayn behind. Almost as soon as he got out of the door he was stopped by a hand grabbing at his arm. He figured it was Zayn so he smiled and turned around. But when he did he was met by those hypnotic forest green eyes.

Louis gasped and swiped his arm away from the boy who was trying to say something to him.

“I’m sorry, I know you’re… you know… can you read lips?” he asked.

Louis just stared at him for a second. He knew what the boy had said but he was stunned. _He knows I’m deaf? Wait, he knows who I am?_ After a few moments of waiting, Louis slowly nodded his head.

“Great! I don’t know if you remember who I am, but I work at the flower shop, _Styles Arrangements_ ,” Harry said slowly so Louis could understand him.

Louis looked down and nodded again. Suddenly Zayn appeared next to him, shocked to see Harry and trying to get Louis’ attention.

“ _Louis, are you okay? What is he saying?_ ” Zayn asked him.

Louis shrugged his shoulders and told Zayn to ask him. Zayn rolled his eyes and turned to a very confused Harry, looking at him suspiciously. “What did you want to say to Louis, he’s deaf and it’s just easier if I sign it to him.”

“I just wanted to apologize for the way I behaved at the shop last week. I’m sorry Louis I didn’t know about your uh… yeah… and if I had known I wouldn’t have been so insensitive.” Harry said as Zayn translated the message.

Louis thought some more about his words and took a moment to look at the boy again. Today he was wearing a QUEEN t-shirt and yet another pair of skinny jeans, boy he knew how to dress. It also seemed that in that week Harry had managed to become even more beautiful than before. Louis realized he had been staring at the boy instead of answering so he quickly signed something to Zayn.

Harry looked from Louis to Zayn, “What did he say?”

Zayn sighed, “He said it was alright and not your fault.”

Harry smiled at both the boys. He was completely satisfied with this answer, his conscience having been swept clean. However, when he looked at Louis, something clicked. He noticed just how pretty Louis actually was, even though he looked very nervous. Harry felt a slight flutter in his heart and suddenly just the apology acceptance wasn’t enough. For some unknown reason he wanted to know more about this very odd boy.

“Umm, Zayn, Louis wouldn’t happen to have a free class next would he?” Harry asked.

Zayn looked even more suspiciously at him, if that was even possible, and nodded his head. “Yes… he does…”

Louis grabbed Zayn’s shoulder and signed something to him. Zayn said something back to him and Harry just got even more confused at all the fast hand movements. Although Louis’ were graceful and smooth, Harry had no idea what they meant.

Zayn turned back to him, “He wants to know why you’re asking, and frankly so do I. You have to understand, Louis isn’t really one to take people’s pity so if that’s what you’re feeling at all I wouldn’t continue.” He said sternly.

Harry shook his head earnestly. “No no no! I promise it’s not pity! It’s just, umm I have a free period and I don’t really have anywhere to go…”

Zayn didn’t translate this to Louis; instead he took a minute to consider what Harry was saying. He did have to leave Louis alone for the next class and Harry sounded pretty genuine in not pitying him. Plus he was even better looking than Zayn thought. This could be good for Louis.

“Do you have some sort of notebook? That way you can communicate.” Zayn said. Harry smiled and got a notebook put of his bag.

All the while Louis had been standing there, very confused. The boys weren’t facing him when they talked so he couldn’t read their lips. Eventually Zayn turned back around with a mischievous grin on his face.

“ _Harry here is going to go with you to the garden during free period today. He seems pretty cool and not at all scary and for goodness sake it is your last year here. You need to branch out._ ” Zayn told him.

Louis’ eyes widened and he looked at Harry who just smiled and waved at him. “ _No please Zayn, this is humiliating._ ”

Louis noticed Harry’s face fall slightly when he shook his head. Was he actually upset that Louis didn’t want to hang out with him?

“ _I promise nothing bad will happen, okay? He’s got a notepad so you can talk and I have to go to art now so goodbye!_ ” Zayn said running away from them. “ _Have fun with Harry!_ ”

The two boys stood there, awkwardly looking at each other before Harry got out a pen and wrote something down.

**So…. Where did you want to go?**

Louis read the message and took the notebook from his hands.

**I was going to go to the school’s garden. You really don’t have to come you know. I will be fine on my own.**

Harry read he message and shook his head. He looked directly at Louis and once again spoke slowly so Louis could know what he was saying. “I want to go Louis. You actually seem like a pretty cool person.”

Louis smiled slightly and started to blush. He nodded his head and gave Harry the notebook back. He took Harry’s hand to lead him to the garden, and when he did he could feel his heart speed up. Harry had the softest, and biggest, hands he had ever held.

Harry was glad for a second that Louis couldn’t hear. If he could, then he would have heard the rather embarrassing shaky breath that Harry released when their hands fit perfectly together. What on earth was he thinking? Why did Louis have these kinds of effects on him?

Something about this Louis was really getting to him and he had only really met him just now. The strangest part was that Harry actually really liked it. Whatever it was.


	3. Camellia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bolded words are written and italicized words in quotes are signed words.

The school’s garden was a beautiful place. It was up on the roof so certain flowers could get enough sunlight and had two greenhouses for flowers that needed shade. It was mostly used by the gardening club but anyone was aloud up there, which was how Louis always seemed to find himself there during the free period. The thing is Louis had always gone alone. He had only brought Zayn up there about three times. Louis thought about this as he held Harry’s hand and pulled him the stairs to the roof.

When they reached the roof, Louis looked back to find Harry’s eyes widening with awe. He saw him mouth the word Wow and Louis smiled to himself. Maybe this wasn’t a bad idea after all.

Harry let go of Louis’ hand, which made the smaller boy slightly disappointed, and walked over to a bench by a greenhouse. He sat down and opened the notebook to write something to Louis. Louis sat down next to him and read the message:

**I had no idea there was anything up here. This is pretty cool.**

Louis smiled and nodded, taking the notebook from Harry’s hands.

**Yeah, not a lot of people know about it, but I would have thought you did.**

Harry read what Louis wrote with a confused look on his face. He took the pen and jotted something down quickly.

**Why would I know about the garden?**

Now it was Louis’ turn to be confused. He frowned and bit his lip and frowned, once again writing something.

**Well, it’s just that you’re family owns a flower shop. I just figured you would be in to them is all.**

Louis watched harry laugh as he read the message.

**That shop is all my sister and my mother’s. I’m just working for the money. i’m not much into flowers and all that.**

Louis’ face fell at Harry’s written words. He wrote a simple OH and put the notebook down before getting up from the bench. Harry felt disappointed as well and quickly wrote something else down.

**But obviously you must like them so that’s cool.**

Harry handed Louis the notebook and smiled timidly. Louis read what Harry wrote and nodded his head. He turned away from Harry and walked into the greenhouse. Harry followed close behind, slightly upset and Louis’ reaction. He grabbed Louis hand to turn him around so he could read his lips.

“Louis, did I say something wrong?” Harry asked. He made sure he talked slow enough for Louis to understand.

Louis shook his head and gestured for the notebook.

**Sorry I just felt awkward. And I was a little disappointed. I never really take anyone up here and the only reason I let Zayn talk me into taking you was because of the shop. But it’s okay.**

Harry sighed and smiled at Louis. He felt sort of special for being taken to somewhere so intimate to Louis. Which was odd considering the circumstances. Louis took the notebook back again and wrote something else down.

**You don’t have to stay here you know. I usually just water them and get lost staring at them. You would find it boring.**

Harry shook his head and spoke out loud again. “You know a lot about the flowers don’t you? Like their meanings and stuff? I hear people study that.” Louis nodded his head and Harry’s smile grew. “Then in that case why don’t you tell me about these?” he pointed at a pot of soft white flowers, that looked a little like roses. “What do these mean?”

**You know I will have to write all of this down right? That could take forever.**

Harry laughed again at Louis. “Yeah, but I think we have plenty of time. I’ll water them and you can write down everything you know.”

Louis finally smiled and nodded his head enthusiastically, sitting himself up on the counter so he could write. Harry walked over to grab some water and looked back at Louis, who was happily writing. Harry say the way Louis’ eyes were concentrated on the words he was quickly jotting down and felt that familiar flutter in his stomach. It was strange to Harry, how quickly Louis was getting to him. But then again, Louis really was adorable.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Louis didn’t tell Zayn about what happened in the garden. That didn’t stop him from being in a much more pleasant mood for the rest of the day. Something that did not go unnoticed by Zayn. At the end of the day Louis was practically bouncing during the ride home. However, when they got to Louis’ house, Zayn didn’t unlock the door for him.

“ _Zayn I think I should really get out now,_ ” Louis signed with a smirk.

Zayn sighed but still didn’t unlock the door. “ _I’m guessing everything went well in the garden? You have been in an oddly friendly mood all day._ ”

Louis’ cheeks turned red and he looked at the window. “ _Yeah, Harry is actually really nice._ ” Louis told Zayn without looking back at him. “ _He said—_ “ Louis hesitated his hands and looked back at Zayn. “ _He said he would come to the garden during every free period._ ”

Zayn leaned back in his seat and his eyebrows shot up. He looked at Louis quizzically. It wasn’t like Louis to be happy about new people. And this new person had already scared him once. Not only that, but the free period was every other day, which meant Louis would be seeing Harry a lot. It’s not that Zayn doesn’t want Louis to branch out and find new friends, but Louis constantly gets hurt. People say they will be his friend, they start off nice and understanding, but eventually they get tired of talking slow or waiting for Louis to communicate. Some people even become insensitive to Louis’ condition and they make fun of him.

Zayn always loved Louis. He was his brother ever since they were little and Louis could still hear. Ever since Louis had his accident and Zayn went to the hospital every day to see his friend. Since Zayn asked his mother if their family could learn Sign Language like the Tomlinson’s so they could still be friends. All those times when Louis would cry because another “friend” let him down, Zayn loved him. And he never wanted to see Louis get hurt. Sure, it was Zayn who set the whole thing up, but he didn’t think Louis would have to see Harry practically every day. It’s too soon, Louis was sensitive. Harry would get tired just like all of the rest of them.

“ _Are you sure you want to see him that often?_ ”

Louis was taken aback, “ _This was your idea, you know._ ”

Zayn rolled his eyes at his friend. “ _I honestly thought you two could just work out your differences and then be able to wave at each other in the hallway. I didn’t expect you to see him all the time._ ”

Louis huffed and frowned at Zayn. “ _You can’t keep me all to yourself Zayn. I really like Harry._ ”

“ _I wasn’t trying to keep you all to myself,_ ” Zayn told him. “ _I just didn’t think this would happen this fast._ ”

Louis crossed his arms and stared down at the door, which Zayn still would not open. There was an awkward pause before Zayn got Louis’ attention again. “ _So you like him huh?_ ” he smirked.

“ _Shut up and let me out of this car!_ ” Louis signed angrily.

Zayn laughed and finally pressed the button to let Louis out. “ _Alright, alright. I’ll see you tomorrow._ ”

Louis signed an “ _I love you_ ” as a goodbye and quickly ran into his house.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The rest of Harry’s day went by in a flash and he soon found himself reading music behind the desk of the flower shop. All he could remember from the day was his visit to the garden with Louis and a stupid smile being stuck on his face. When Liam asked him later where he was, he just told him about the garden on the roof and nothing else. He still didn’t have an idea why Louis got to him the way he did, but he was starting to not really mind. Of course now Harry was trying to concentrate on the music for one of his band’s competition songs, and failing miserably because of the costumers he needed to attend to.

At one point a young boy came up with a pot of red flowers, very similar to roses, but Harry recognized that they weren’t immediately. The boy couldn’t be any more than 14 years old and he had a dumb looking smile plastered across his face. He placed the flowers down on the table and pulled out his wallet.

“What do you think of these roses?” the boy asked.

Harry laughed, a little out of disbelief for knowing that they were not, in fact, roses, but mostly at the confidence that exuded out of this boy. “Actually these aren’t roses but they are very nice.”

The boy’s smile fell and was replaced by a confused frown. “What do you mean these aren’t roses? They look just like them.”

“Those are Camellia. Don’t feel too bad though, I hear they are often mistaken for roses.” Harry told him.

The boy continued to frown, but a bit more defeated now. “Not roses? That’s just great. What am I supposed to do now?”

Harry felt bad for the kid. He looked so upset about the flowers. “Who are the flowers for?”

“Only the love of my life.” He said. Harry chuckled at him, which only made the situation slightly worse. “What? A fourteen year old can’t be in love? Because I am. And these flowers were supposed to help me win her over.”

Harry shook his head then remembered the rest of what Louis had written about the flowers. “You know, these Camellia are red. The red ones mean ‘You’re a flame in my heart’, and that’s better than just plain old love doesn’t it?”

The kid’s features lit up and he nodded his head quickly. “Yeah that’s a lot better!” He took his money out of his wallet and almost threw it into Harry’s hands. “Thanks mister!” and with that the boy ran out of the store.

Harry sat back and smiled as he remembered the rest of what Louis had told him about the flowers. _They also can be white, those mean ‘you’re adorable’._ He couldn’t help but think they were perfect for Louis. He once again began to go over his music, but it wasn’t long before someone else came bursting through the door. However, this time it was it wasn’t a costumer, just Niall, who happily skipped to the back.

“So how did it go?” Niall pulled the sheets Harry out of his hands and smirked at him.

“How did what go?” Harry asked as he yanked music back from him.

Niall laughed as he sat up on the desk, “Oh you know, you’re garden date with Louis. Don’t think I didn’t see you holding his hand and running up the stairs with him. Plus Liam told me about the garden on the roof.”

“Oh that. It wasn’t a date, it was alright,” Harry said, failing to hold back his smile.

“Just alright hmm?” Niall said smugly. “That stupid smile you’ve had all day says it went more than alright. Falling for the good little deaf boy?”

“Do you have to say it that way?” Harry said. “He’s really nice and, yes, he is really pretty but I don’t even know him. Also the fact that we can only talk through writing doesn’t really help.”

“What did you talk about anyway?” Niall asked, getting down from the counter to look at Harry properly. “Or well write about I guess.”

“Umm, just some flowers and things.” Harry started to let his smile through again. “And I told him I would meet him in garden during every free period…”

Niall threw his head back in laughter, so much that he almost fell over. “You do like him! You like him so much and it’s adorable.”

“Shut up! I do not like him. I mean I do, but not like that- and oh just stop it will you?” Harry said while he jumped over the counter. “Can we just get out of here and go to practice already?”

“Yeah, yeah okay.” Niall said; his laughter dying down as he followed him out the door. Harry locked up and they headed back to his house. On the whole walk home Harry still stop thinking about his and Louis’ time in the garden and all the things Louis had written about the Camellias.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Harry kept his promise and went to the garden every day. Louis would write down facts about the flowers in the notebook and Harry would water them. Harry loved looking at the way Louis’ eyes would light up when he wrote down the facts about the many flowers. The way he bit into his lip when he couldn’t quite remember something. Harry found himself looking at Louis a lot actually. He could stare at Louis’ sharp cheekbones and slender lips for hours.

Harry ended up really enjoying the little facts about the flowers that Louis would tell him. The meanings of the flowers were the best parts for him. Wisteria; youth and poetry. Sweet William; gallantry, perfection. Orange Mock; deceit. Blue Periwinkle; early friendship. White Periwinkle; pleasures of memory.

It was still strange to think that people took these little meanings so seriously, but Louis would smile so wide when Harry would ask about them that he couldn’t stop. Louis had such a lovely smile.

Of course they didn’t only discuss the flowers. Harry asked Louis about his family and his life outside of the garden. Louis had a sister named Lottie who was only two years younger than him, and was his most favorite person in the world. She knew about flowers as well but not as much as Louis. His mother, Jo, was a wonderful person who worked in a boring office job, but it paid enough for her to spoil her children. Louis told Harry he thinks his mother still blames herself for what happened but he wishes she wouldn’t. When Harry asked about what happened Louis would just get all jumpy and change the subject.

Louis made sure he learned about Harry as well. So Harry told him about his sister, Gemma, and how she is supposed to be managing the Flower Shop, but she is away at Uni. He mentioned his mother, Anne, who owns the shop and lets his band play in their garage and pretends she doesn’t mind the noise at all.

After a few weeks, Harry decided that, yes he did like Louis. He liked him a lot. Niall took the news the best, parading around Harry’s house while Liam and Josh laughed and Harry sulked in a corner.

The day after he tells his friends, Harry surprises Louis with a whiteboard and a rainbow of markers that they can use to communicate easier with. Louis also gets a little better at reading Harry’s lips, which isn’t that hard because he talks so slow anyway.

Harry ends up telling Louis about how his parents divorced and his father travels too much for Harry to really care about him. He loves cats and his friends and his music. He’s had three boyfriends, the last of which ended horribly and it’s not something he likes to talk about.

Louis was rather excited about that last bit of information. Not the part about the bad boyfriend, but the fact that Harry was gay.

**You know I am too.**

Harry read Louis’ message and used all of his strength not to start giggling and smiling like an idiot. “You are? You’re gay?”

**Yeah, it was a little hard to accept at first but I came around eventually. You know Zayn? He’s actually pan, so he was really supportive. But other than him I haven’t actually met another boy like me.**

“So you never had a boyfriend?” Harry asks.

**That’s a little difficult. I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m deaf and talking to you through a whiteboard.**

Harry laughs and shakes his head. Louis wishes he could hear it. “It’s strange cause you’re so—“ he caught himself off before he could embarrass himself.

Louis looked at him with a puzzled expression. He grabbed another marker and wrote on the board.

**I’m so what Harry?**

Harry started blushing. “Well, umm, you’re really nice and actually quite funny and ithinkyouhavereallyprettyeyes.”

Louis tried to focus in on what Harry was saying, but he was talking faster than he ever had before.

**I’m sorry, I saw what you said at first, and thanks by the way, but what was that last part?**

Harry blushed harder and looked away. Instead of talking out loud like normal he took one of the markers and wrote on the board.

**I said you have really pretty eyes.**

Harry dropped the marker and quickly turned away from Louis, who stood staring at the bored, completely stunned. He read the message over and over again, making sure he got it right.

Harry was still turned away, focusing on a pot of Larkspur. Louis put on a very wide smile and leapt over to Harry. He turned Harry around and looked right into Harry’s eyes. Harry looked nervous, but he was soon becoming mesmerized by the way Louis stared at him. Suddenly Louis turned back around and went back to the whiteboard.

**Sorry about that. I was just making sure I remembered yours correctly.**

“Well, did you?” Harry asked him.

**Yes I did.**

Harry stepped closer to Louis and smirked. “And? What did you remember?”

**Yours are better than any I’ve had the pleasure to look into before.**

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It had been about a week since the exchange about each other’s eyes, and both boys were feeling the brisk air of November. All of the flowers that were still alive were all put in one greenhouse, so the boys stayed in there to keep warm.

On this particular day, they fished watering and taking care of the flowers faster than usual and they sat very close together telling embarrassing stories about each other’s sisters. Harry casually wrapped his arm around Louis’ shoulder, which both of them more excited and nervous than usual. Louis leaned forward to write on the board.

**You never tell me about your band.**

Harry turned his body so he could Louis when he talked. “Did you want to know about it?”

**You sit here almost every day and learn about my ridiculous flowers. Of course I want to know about what you love.**

“Well, I told you about my band entering the Battle of the Bands right? That’s not until May, so we have a lot of time to practice. Of course we have a few gigs before but it’s mostly small clubs and standing rooms. Nothing too exciting,” Louis watched Harry’s lips as they spoke the words he wished he could hear. He wished he could focus instead on the sparks behind his eyes and hear the excitement in his voice. “We have to make a ten song set for the competition with four original songs. I know it seems like a lot we actually finished our original songs. The hard part is deciding what covers we want to do. We’ve got four of them but nobody can agree on the last two. I don’t really have a preference to which song, you know? I just want them to choose something already.”

Harry started speaking a little bit faster now and Louis was having trouble keeping up.

**You must really love music then.**

Harry smiled brighter than before. “Yeah, ever since I was little. My mum played all the classics for me. And singing just came naturally for me, you know? Like, I always loved music and one day I was just messing around and singing loudly and my mum told me I sounded like Elvis. That was such a complement, and a complete lie, but Elvis is one of my heroes and when you’re a kid that means a lot. Anyway I entered a talent show and I won. Actually won! That was the best feeling in the world.”

Suddenly Harry got up from the bench and turned away from Louis, he had forgotten about the boy’s hearing. Louis followed him off the bench and tried to keep a constant eye on his moving mouth. Harry continued to go off at a pace that was almost too fast for Louis to understand.

“Performing is such a rush. When you have an audience cheering and excited to hear your voice and your music. There really is nothing that compares. It’s almost better than sex. There’s just something about the way everything makes sense when a harmony matches up, or you hit that perfect high note, or when I watch Niall go off on long guitar solos. You feel it in your soul. But some of the best parts about music are when you have slow acoustic number.”

Louis couldn’t keep up anymore, he sat back down and let Harry continue and hoped he would finish soon. He started to think about what Harry had said about listening to the harmonies and guitar solos. Listen. Louis couldn’t do that could he? He started to regret asking, because he realized something. He really liked Harry and he realized that Harry couldn’t like him back. How could he? Harry’s first love in this world was music and Louis couldn’t share that with him. He could teach Harry all he wanted about flowers and beauty but Harry could never show Louis his music. Louis’ eyes filled with tears that he was having trouble holding in. He looked back up at Harry who was now smiling back down at him, still describing his acoustic songs.

“Just a guitar in the background and you only have to focus on the words,” Harry looked out a window but still faced Louis. “On the way the melody sounds. You just sit and listen and let it fill up your heart. Sure sometimes it causes you to sway like an idiot but—wait Louis?”

Louis got up and ran out of the greenhouse. He couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t watch Harry talk about the music he would never get to hear anymore. He let the tears flow freely as he ran down the stairs. Not able to hear Harry calling after him.

“Louis! What’s wrong? What did I say?” Harry tried to chase him but he was too fast. By the time Harry reached the bottom of the stairs and looked around the hallway, Louis was nowhere to be found.


	4. Yellow Haycinth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bolded words are written and italicized words in quotes are signed words.

When the bell rang at the end of the day, Harry searched through the school for Louis. Instead he found Zayn walking down the hall by himself, which puzzled Harry, because Zayn would never leave Louis all alone. He ran to catch up with him to ask what was going on.

“Zayn! Where’s Louis?” Harry asked.

Zayn’s eyebrows furrowed and he looked at Harry suspiciously. “I thought you knew. He texted me that he wasn’t feeling well so he went home.” Zayn leaned against the wall next to them. “unless that’s not what happened, and both of you aren’t telling me something.”

Harry slumped against the wall beside Zayn. “I honestly don’t know what happened. He asked me about my band and my music and then the next thing I know he is crying and running out of the garden.”

Zayn crossed his arms and looked more angrily than suspiciously at Harry now. “Are you sure that’s all? Harry, if you hurt him—“

“I swear that’s all,” Harry cuts him off. “I would never hurt Louis.” Harry said darkly.

Zayn searched Harry’s eyes for any deception and found none. “Alright, I believe you, but that doesn’t help solve what’s wrong with Louis.”

Harry brought his hands to his head and rubbed his temples. “Could I get Louis’ address? Maybe I can ask what I did wrong and fix it.”

“I don’t know, Harry.” Zayn sighed.

Zayn, please,” Harry pleaded. “let me fix this.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Harry arrived at Louis’ house pretty quickly and now it was just a matter of building up the courage to go up and knock on the door. He had been waiting behind the small gate, staring at the house for about ten minutes. He took a deep breath and pushed open the gate, then walked up the path to the door. He knocked three times then released his breath when he heard a voice on the other side of the door.

“I’m coming!” the voice said before the door swung open. Behind it there was a little blonde girl, only a couple years younger than Harry. She was looking quizzically up at Harry with familiar blue eyes. He smiled timidly as her face lit up with recognition. “You’re Harry, aren’t you?”

“Um, yeah. I guess Louis told you about me.” Harry stated, calming down a bit.

“Yup, I’m Lottie, his sister.” She said cheerfully.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Harry said. He tried to get a look in the house to find any sign of Louis. “Is Louis home? I really need to talk to him.”

Lottie’s smile faltered a bit, “Um, well he isn’t feeling to well and—“

“Lottie! Who’s at the door?” Harry heard another voice shout from the house. This one was older, and Harry figured it came from his mother.

“It’s Louis’ new friend Harry.”

“Oh!” Louis’ mother said as she rounded the corner to greet Harry. “Well, it’s very nice to meet you Harry. You can come in; I don’t know why Lottie left you out here.” She said warmly. Lottie rolled her eyes and turned to walk into the house, gesturing for Harry to follow. “I’m Jo by the way.” She said, holding out her hand.

Harry took it and shook gently. “It’s nice to meet you.”

She smiled sweetly at him, “Louis talks about you quite a bit. I think he really likes you.”

Harry’s eyes lighted up, “I like him to. But I’m afraid I did something wrong. I’m really sorry Ms. Tomlinson—“

“Jo, please just call me Jo. Ms. Tomlinson makes me feel old.” She said.

“Oh, okay. I’m sorry Jo, but when we were in the garden today, I um,” Harry took a second to gather his thoughts. “I’m not sure what I did, but one second he was fine and the next he was running out on my.”

Jo looked at him sympathetically. “Louis is… he can be sensitive sometimes. And I can tell that you mean well, but Louis is in a bit of a state right now. I know you came over to talk to him, but I don’t think now is the best time.”

Harry wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “Please Ms. To— Jo, Zayn already gave me the speech. But I really do like Louis. I just want to know what I did wrong.”

Jo sighed and nodded her head. “Alright, but please be patient with him. His room is the last one on the right.” She pointed at the stairs.

Harry ran as fast he could to Louis’ room. He opened the door slowly, as he didn’t want to scare Louis. He looked around the room and honestly wasn’t surprised at all by what he found. There was light pouring through the four windows, one of which was a bay window next to Louis’ bed. There weren’t any posters like a normal teen’s room, but instead paintings of flowers. He had potted plants on top of a bookshelf, which was full of many different types of books; from gardening books to Harry Potter. He had a cute little desk that was painted with a vine pattern and bright red and orange flowers. On top of the desk were pictures in frames of Louis with his mother and sister and some of him and Zayn. The walls were a light blue with neon orange, green, and pink splatter painted on to them. Louis was currently lying on his bed, not facing Harry.

Harry walked over to Louis’ bed slowly but stopped to consider how he would get his attention. He really didn’t want to scare him away again, and Harry was pretty sure that showing up in his room would do just that. He backed up a few steps and looked out of one of the windows, where there were flowers sitting on the windowsill. They were yellow and looked a little like star shaped trumpets. Harry didn’t recognize them and hoped their meaning was something good as he went over to the open window and picked one off of the stem.

He walked back over to Louis’ bed and noticed that he was actually asleep. Harry sat down gently next to him and ghosted his hand over Louis’ arm. Louis only stirred a little and didn’t wake, so Harry scooted closer and rubbed Louis’ cheek instead. This time Louis slowly opened his eyes and Harry placed the flower on the pillow in front of him. Suddenly Louis snapped up, knocking Harry off of the bed.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!” Harry hurriedly got up from the ground and tried to give Louis some space.

Louis frantically reached into his bedside table and grabbed a notebook, but he couldn’t find a pen. Harry just watched with nervous eyes as Louis finally grabbed a pen and wrote a message in his notebook.

**What the hell are you doing here?**

He handed Harry the notebook and crossed his arms angrily.

Harry read what he wrote and was about to write something down, but he decided he wanted to say it directly to Louis instead. “Louis, I’m so sorry for whatever I did. But I don’t know what I did wrong. I thought things were going pretty well and then you just ran out on me! Please, please tell me what I did and I won’t ever do it again, I promise Lou.”

Louis sighed and sat down on his bed. He wrote in the notebook and then gestured for Harry to sit next to him.

**Harry you didn’t do anything wrong, I guess. It’s just you started going off about your band and music and sometimes you looked away from me so I couldn’t tell what you were saying.**

“Louis, you should have stopped me if you were getting confused,” Harry replied. “I would have slowed down for you.”

Louis gave him a small smile, but shook his head and wrote something else down.

**It’s not just the talking. It was all the talk of music. Harry I haven’t been able to hear for a long time now and, honestly I don’t even remember any of the music i had heard. And I’m fine with that. But you love it so much and I can tell it’s very important to you but I can’t share that with you. You can see and smell the flowers that I love and I can teach you everything about them, but I can never hear music.**

**I know you want to make this friendship work and that is really sweet but you are going to get tired of me. You will want me to listen to your music and come to your band’s gigs but I can’t hear anything. I can’t be a good enough friend to someone like you. And that upsets me because I really like you okay? You are so patient with me and you gave me a chance and I thank you for that. But I’m so scared. I don’t like getting attached to people that I’m going to lose.**

**And I guess I realized just how fast and how easily I could lose you.**

Harry read Louis’ words with a heavy heart. Harry understood that Louis wouldn’t be able to hear his music, and he knew about the abandonment issues, but he had no idea Louis was this insecure about them. He looked back at Louis with sad eyes. “Lou, is this really how you feel?”

Louis looked down nodded his head

“Do you want me to leave?” Harry asked. He could feel tears start to form in his eyes, but he wouldn’t let them fall until he knew exactly how Louis felt.

But Louis just stood up and shook his head, now crying himself. He grabbed the notebook and sloppily wrote down another message.

**No! No I don’t want you to leave, but you will! You will leave me! And I rather you just do it instead of drag this out.**

Harry read the message and let a few of the tears fall. He got up and took Louis hands in his to make sure he watched what he said. “Louis. I like you. It’s okay that you’re deaf. I don’t even think about that. There is so much more to you than that, okay? You are so amazing Louis and I can’t believe you, or anybody else, can see that. You make me laugh Louis, and that’s not something a lot of people can say. You are so smart and so passionate about the things you love and I love seeing that. And Louis you are so beautiful. You’re eyes are so blue and hypnotic and sometimes I wish I could stare at them for hours. Louis I could never hurt you, and I am so sorry for making you feel that way.”

Louis couldn’t stop himself from smiling now. Nobody had ever said they would try since Zayn when they were little kids. He wanted to wipe the tear stains off of his cheeks, but Harry wouldn’t let go of his hands. He wiggled his way out of Harry’s grip and picked the notebook up again.

**You really mean all of that?**

Harry laughed quietly and nodded, “I told you Louis, I really like you.”

Now Harry had said that he liked Louis plenty of times before, but there was something different in the way he said it this time. Even just by looking at it Louis could tell Harry meant something else.

**You like me?**

Harry pulled Louis into a tight hug and pulled back quickly, “Yeah Lou, I really do.”

Then Louis let Harry hold him closely again, he smelled like the flowers they had been around earlier. It was sweet and made Louis feel happy and at home; he had never felt so safe.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Where the fuck is he?” Niall exclaimed. He threw his guitar down onto the couch and himself onto the ground.

“Rolling around on the ground won’t bring Harry to practice. For god’s sake man, get up!” Josh yelled throwing one of his sticks down at the ridiculous Irishman.

Niall threw it right back at him. “Oi! The fuck was that for?”

“For being annoying!”

“Oh I’M annoying?”

Liam groaned loudly. “Will you two shut up! You’re arguing isn’t going to bring Harry here either!”

Niall pulled himself off the ground and hopped onto the couch with his guitar. “I’m just glad this practice isn’t at his house, otherwise we’d be fucked.”

“Li, did you try calling him? Maybe he got caught up in something?” Josh asked.

“Yeah, I called him twice and he didn’t answer.” Liam sat on the couch next to Niall. “Where do you think he could be?”

“Maybe he’s with that Tomlinson kid.” Niall said casually.

This made a lot of sense to Liam, after all Harry hadn’t stopped talking about him for weeks. Not that Liam minded, it was nice to see Harry interested in someone again. But Liam had no idea how to find out if Harry was with Louis or not. Then he remembered Zayn. Zayn was Louis’ best friend, so surely he would know if they were together!

“Do either of you know where Zayn Malik would be? He’s good friends with Louis, so maybe he could help us find Harry.” Liam asked the boys. Niall just looked at him confused, but Josh actually thought about it.

“I think I saw him go into the art studio at the school,” he said. “Pretty sure he’s in the advanced class, and they usually have a lot of extra projects”

Liam leapt up from the couch and turned back to face them. “Alright, well should we go ask him if he knows anything then?” Josh and Niall looked at each other and then back at Liam. Liam could already tell what they were thinking. “Should I just go by myself then?” the boys just nodded their heads at him. “Of course. Fine, I’ll call you if I find anything out.”

And with that Liam quickly made his way to his car to try and get some answers.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It was weird for Liam being in the school when it was this empty. He usually left as soon as the bell rang to go to band practice and never looked back. It’s not that he didn’t like school, Liam really did, but he hated being late. And he especially hated it when any of the other boys were late. It wasn’t like Harry to just skip out on them though.

Liam made his way through the dark hallways, only vaguely knowing where he was going. He went down several halls until finally he saw the big neon painted _Art Studio_ sign. He peered through the door and saw a bunch of canvases set up, and paint cans sitting around, but overall the room looked empty. He was about to give up and leave when he heard a loud crash and a ,em >mother fucking—got to be kidding me come from the back of the room.

He stepped fully into the room and saw a dark haired, sort of exotic-looking boy scrambling to clean black paint that had spilled onto the floor. Being the always helpful guy that he was, Liam ran to the back to help him.

“Here, I’ve got that.” Liam said as he grabbed towel from a nearby desk and bent down to wipe up the paint.

“Oh! Um, that’s alright mate, I spill shit all the time.” The boy said as he watched Liam clean up his mess.

Liam just chuckled and continued to wipe the paint. “Accidents happen; I’ve really got no problem helping out.” Liam finally looked up at the boy and, wow his face was beautiful. He was all angles and brooding dark brown eyes and, okay now Liam was staring.

“Um thanks I guess. You’re Liam Payne right? You’re in Harry’s band. what was that called?” Zayn asked, wiping up the remaining paint that Liam had missed.

“Yeah, it’s One Direction. And I suppose you’re Louis’ friend Zayn.” Liam mopped up as much paint as he could but Zayn reached over and stopped him.

“You really don’t have to get all of it, I don’t know if you noticed but there are paint stains everywhere,” he said, sort of laughing at Liam.

Liam blushed at Zayn’s hand on his and put the towel down. “Right, sorry.”

“I am Louis’ friend by the way. I’m also guessing that’s why you’re here, looking for Harry?” Zayn asked him.

“Oh yeah, you wouldn’t happen to know where he is do you?” Liam replied.

Zayn sat on his stool and sighed. “I guess he’s still at Louis’ house then. He went over to apologize for being a right twat to him today.”

Liam scoffed. “No offense but I don’t think you know Harry well enough to call him a twat,” he stood up from the ground. “He’s really not that bad.”

Zayn smiled at him. “Yeah you’re right. I’m sorry, I just get really protective of Louis sometimes.”

“I understand, it must be hard with his… uh… you know,” Liam hesitated, not wanting to insult him.

“His…? Disability? The fact that he’s deaf? You can say it out loud, you know.” Zayn snapped.

“Oh I’m s-sorry, I didn’t mean for it to sound that w-way.” Liam stuttered. Great, now gorgeous Zayn thought he was a jerk. Awesome.

Zayn kept a hard look in his eyes for a few seconds before he burst out laughing, “I’m only joking! You can say it though; it’s not an insult, just a fact.”

Liam let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and gave Zayn a small smile. “Oh right. Well um I guess Harry’s still with him so…” he was going to start to leave again, but Zayn was so pretty and Liam never got the chance to be with someone as pretty as him alone. He decided Niall and Josh could wait a few more minutes. “Um, what are you painting?”

“It’s nothing. I mean it started out as something but I didn’t really like where it was going, so got sort of frustrated and well…” he gestured to the paint stain on the ground.

“Do you mind if I take a look?” Liam asked walking around the canvas.

Zayn raised his eyebrows and chuckled at him. “Well sure since you’re already over here.”

Liam stopped moving and blushed again. “Oh sorry.”

“I’m still messing with you! You have got to relax man,” Zayn laughed. “But then again, that blush is pretty cute on you.”

Well that certainly didn’t help Liam’s situation. Instead of making a stupid reply, Liam opted to look at what there was of the painting. It was the torso of a man’s body, but he wasn’t complete. There were no legs or arms, just a very muscular torso. The detail was amazing though. Zayn had made each contour of muscle look so real. Liam could even make out little beads of sweat running down the abs.

“Wow, Zayn. You are really good.” Liam said, completely awed.

Zayn grinned at him but shook his head. “Thanks, but that’s not even my best. I’m probably going to scrap it.”

Liam gasped, “Why? It’s so realistic.”

“Yeah but I didn’t have anyone to model it after. He would never have a face and I couldn’t do that. I don’t know I just prefer it when I have a real person in mind. This one I just sort of started.” Zayn told him.

An awkward silence fell between them for a moment before Liam decided he had kept Niall and Josh long enough. “It was really nice officially meeting you Zayn, but I really should go. Thanks for all your help.”

Zayn’s face fell slightly and he nodded his head “Right. It was nice talking to you Liam.”

And maybe Liam’s face became very pink at the way his name sounded when Zayn said it. And maybe when he was going out the door he caught Zayn checking him out from behind his canvas. But Liam was pretty okay with that.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Hello there! I’m Eleanor, how can I help you today?” A young, brunette girl asked Harry from behind her desk. She seemed nice enough with her bright smile and cheerful eyes. She was definitely too pretty to be working at a community center.

“Um, I’m just wondering what sort of special classes you offered here. I heard you could sign up to take almost anything.” Harry told her.

“Well, what category of class were you interested in?” She asked.

“Um, language specifically.” Harry said quietly.

“Here let me just look that up for you.” Eleanor said as she typed something into the computer on her desk. “It looks like we offer Mandarin, Italian, Spanish, Japanese, German, Sign Language, Fre—”

“Oh that one!” Harry cut her off. “Um Sign Language, c-could I sign up for that class?”

Eleanor grinned and looked back to the screen. “Hmm, it looks like there is a new class starting in a couple of weeks. Would you like me to register you for that?”

“Yes, please that would be perfect.” He gave her his information and paid the due for the class. “Thank you so much,”

Eleanor waved at him cheerfully and said goodbye. Harry smiled, completely satisfied, as he walked away. If this didn’t prove to Louis how much he cared, then nothing ever would.


	5. Snowdrop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bolded words are written and italicized words in quotes are signed words.

It had been three weeks since Harry registered for the Sign Language class. Three weeks and he still hadn’t told Louis. He thought it would be a nice surprise for Louis once he had learned enough to make coherent sentences. But that wasn’t going to be for a long time considering the class didn’t start for another week, and there were only two classes each week. Of course Harry had already been looking things up online, but he wanted to make sure he got everything correct, that way he didn’t embarrass himself and insult Louis.

Not that Louis gets insulted very easily. Harry learned pretty quickly that Louis wasn’t as sensitive as he originally let on to be. Zayn made it seem like you needed to be careful about everything around Louis and look after him and coddle him. However, since he and Harry had their heart to heart Louis proved that to be not entirely true. He loved joking around and being silly.

They had been spending a lot of time together lately, and eventually Louis thought it would be a good idea to officially meet Harry’s friends.

They were sitting on their usual bench in the garden, Harry’s arm around Louis’ shoulder and writing messages to each other on the white board when Louis brought it up.

**And Zayn should too. He said he met Liam and he seemed alright. I really want everyone to be friends.**

Harry shifted in his seat so Louis could see his lips. “I mean if you really want to. Not that you all wouldn’t get along; it’s just that my friends can be a bit of a handful.”

**I really want to.**

“Alright, sit with us at lunch tomorrow then,” Harry said. Louis gave him a satisfied smile and turned back to the board to draw doodles.

Louis and Zayn sat down at their lunch table the next day, causing a very flustered Liam to blush harshly and barely get a word out during the whole lunch. Louis constantly gave Zayn a very confused look, which was usually just returned with a sly wink.

Niall and Josh immediately liked Louis. Josh knew a little sign language so he was able to talk to him, and Niall even slowed down his talking and enunciated his words. Zayn had warmed up to Harry, so he kept his attention on Liam the whole time.

Louis loved the attention from Harry’s friends and Harry was just happy everyone was getting along. When it looked like Louis was getting overwhelmed by all the talking Harry placed his hand on Louis’ thigh. Now Louis was used to this gesture of comfort from Zayn, but when Harry’s hand touched his leg, it felt different. His head snapped up and met Harry’s deep green eyes smiling back at him. Louis’s cheeks turned pink and he looked away, but soon he placed his hand over Harry’s and knotted their fingers together.

“Harry? Harry what do you think?” Josh asked, making Harry and Louis snap out of their trance.

“Sorry, um what did you ask?” he kept his hand connected with Louis’, but turned back to the group’s conversation.

Niall was the one to answer him. “We thought it would be cool if Louis and Zayn sat in on our practice tonight. I mean, I know you can’t hear it Louis, but it still might be fun.”

Louis took a moment to think about it. What would even be the point if he couldn’t hear the music? And then he thought about his talk with Harry. Harry had been so sure that he would still like Louis even without music. But Louis wasn’t just going to ignore Harry’s favorite thing. Maybe it wasn’t a bad idea to go anyway. He looked around the table and nodded his head enthusiastically.

“Great! We’ll see you after school then!” Josh said, getting up from the table to go to his next class. Niall followed quickly behind and Liam slowly after.

“Think I’m gonna go with Liam; Harry, you can walk with Louis,” Zayn said with a mischievous smile.

After everyone else had left Harry slotted his fingers with Louis’ and turned to talk to him. “Are you sure this is okay? I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

Louis just smiled and rolled his eyes. He nodded his head and pulled Harry away from the table so they could walk to his next class.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Louis soon found that watching Harry practice was one of the best things in the world. He and Zayn are sitting on the couch in the middle of Harry’s garage and watching the band play their competition set. Zayn keeps signing to Louis that they sound really good and Harry has a great voice, and he keeps commenting on how hot Liam is when he plays bass. But all Louis can focus on is Harry. He can’t hear Harry, but he can vaguely feel the vibrations through the couch.

Harry is something incredible when he performs. He focuses in completely on Louis and only closes his eyes a few times. Louis watches the way the vanes in Harry’s neck contract when he sings and how his plump lips form every word. Louis picks up on when Harry thinks he messes up because he bites his bottom lip, but when he gets something very right he has sparks behind his eyes.

Louis takes a break from staring at Harry to look around at the rest of the band. Sometime during the practice Josh had thrown his shirt across the room. Sure he was fit and Louis couldn’t help but giggle at the smile he had while drumming, but he wasn’t Harry. Niall’s hands were moving so fast on his guitar and he had sweat running down his muscular arms. Now, Liam was a strange one. He was the most calm but occasionally his eyes would look up and his face would turn red. Louis turned his head to Zayn and cocked an eyebrow at him.

“ _Why are you looking at me like that?_ ” Zayn signed, but his eyes showed that he knew exactly why Louis was giving him that look.

“ _Why is Liam looking at you like that?_ ” Louis asked.

Zayn’s lips turned up into a smile, “ _Oh, Liam and I had a very interesting meeting a couple weeks ago. He’s cute, isn’t he?_ ”

“ _He looks scared of you. Why are you so creepy sometimes?_ ”

“ _I am not creepy._ ” Zayn looked back over to Liam, who was now full on staring at them. “ _I just love the way he blushes when he’s nervous. He’s so innocent, it’s adorable._ ”

Louis rolled his eyes and looked back at the band. Eventually Zayn nudged Louis to let him know they finished the set. Louis jumped up and clapped enthusiastically. He signed something and the boys looked at him, all a bit confused, so Zayn interpreted.

“He said if he could hear, he’s sure that would have sounded fantastic.” Zayn smiled brightly at Liam. “And I can confirm that it did. You guys are awesome.”

Before Liam could say anything Niall jumped in, “Thanks mate! It’s our set for Battle of the Bands in May. We’re gonna smash it!” He jumped back and high fived Josh.”

“The original ones were really great! Which ones of you wrote them, or was it a sort group thing?” Zayn asked.

“Harry writes most of the lyrics and I did all of the music, well most of it anyway. Liam here helped me.” Niall said proudly.

“I loved ‘em.” Zayn said, still looking at Liam.

Liam smiled timidly. “Th-thanks.”

“Oi Niall! Look at the time! We gotta go man!” Josh pulled on Niall’s arm. “If we’re late getting home again, you’re mu will kill me.”

“Oh shit! Wait, Liam did you need a ride?” Niall asked.

Zayn stepped up nudged into Liam. “I can take him if you guys are in a rush.”

“Thanks mate! You’re alright,” Niall said.

“Ni come on!” Josh was getting impatient and already out the door and starting his car.

Niall ran out of the door after him, leaving the other four boys in the garage.

“Thanks for taking me home Zayn.” Liam said.

“It’s really no problem,” he grabbed his keys and walked Liam to the door. “You coming Louis?”

“Oh,” Harry stepped towards Zayn, “Um, I kind of wanted to take him home.”

Zayn raised his eyebrows and looked at Harry then over to Louis. It took him a moment for his face to soften up, and when it did he shrugged and nodded his head. “Yeah, alright. Just be careful.”

“Wow really?” Harry almost jumped for joy but instead he turned back to Louis. “Wait here one second, I have to talk to Zayn.” Harry walked over to Zayn and turned them away from Louis. “Thank you so much for trusting me Zayn.”

“Look Harry. This is just a test alright? You already fucked up once, and that’s why I have issues with you in the first place.” Harry opened his mouth but Zayn put up his hand to stop him, “However, when you practically begged me to let you go to him to apologize, I sort of realized you were serious about this.” Zayn looks at him sternly. “But remember, don’t fuck this up, or I’ll fuck you up.”

Harry swallowed and nodded his head. He said goodbye and as soon as they left he went back over to Louis. “Want to go upstairs?”

Louis smiled and took Harry’s hand then gestured for him to lead the way.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The car ride with Liam was quiet for the most part and only a little bit awkward. Zayn put some music on to try and defuse the uncomfortable air.

“So, um, where am I going?” Zayn asked him.

Liam gave Zayn his address and Zayn was happy that he already knew the way.

“That’s a little ways away from my house!” he said excitedly. “Shouldn’t take me too long to get there.”

“I’m in no rush,” Liam said quietly.

They drove for a little longer in silence; the only sound was the music from the radio. After a point Liam kept looking over at Zayn, as if he wanted to say something but was too scared.

“What’s up Liam?” Zayn finally asked. You look like you want to say something.

Liam turned his head forward and tried to keep his eyes off of Zayn. “No-nothing. It’s just—” He stopped himself from saying anything embarrassing.

“Just what?” Zayn was getting more concerned now.

Liam looked over at him. Zayn was so beautiful, even with his face scrunched with worry. Liam couldn’t stop himself when he blurted out “You are a beautiful artist.”

Zayn’s face immediately twisted up into a smile and he giggled. “Well, thank you Liam. You’re a great musician.”

“No you don’t understand. I can’t stop thinking about that piece you were working on.” Liam said with more confidence. “I can’t believe you were going to trash it. It was so realistic, and honestly if it was finished, I probably would have thought it was a photograph. And if that one wasn’t your best then I can’t even begin to imagine what is.”

Zayn was stunned, to say the least. He was thankful he had such good self-control, because he would have run the car right off the road from shock. Yes, Zayn has been told many times that he was a good artist. But nobody has ever said it to him in that way. Liam meant every word; he really thought Zayn was that amazing.

“I could, um, show you the good ones if you want.” Zayn said. Since when was he so shy around cute boys who loved his art?

Liam blinked. He opened and closed his mouth several times before settling on, yes he did in fact want to see the good ones. “I mean, if it’s not too much trouble.”

Zayn laughed and shook his head. “You’re always so polite. No it’s not trouble; in fact my house is coming up soon if you have time to stop—”

“YES!” Liam cut him off, then coughed to calm himself down. “Sorry. I mean yes I have time.”

“Well alright.” Zayn drove ahead to his house.

They arrived at Zayn’s house soon enough and Zayn was happy to find his parents were still at work. He led Liam all the way up to his attic, which held his studio. There were finished canvases all around the room, and some still on easels. The paintings had images of flowers, landscapes, animals, and even some people. There were portraits of Louis, a lot of Louis, and some of what Liam guessed was Zayn’s family. They all looked so real. He felt like they were actually in the room with him.

“The flowers are for Louis.” Zayn said breaking the silence. “He hangs them in his room.”

“They’re lovely Zayn.” Liam said softly. “I can’t believe you are this good. N-not that you shouldn’t be this good or anything! It’s just that you are so young and talented and— I’m rambling now so I’ll just stop.”

Zayn laughed and leaned back against a wall. “Wow, you really are adorable when you get all flustered like that.”

Liam’s face was going to be stuck in a permanent shade of red if Zayn didn’t stop immediately. How was it Liam was the one giving all the praise and complements, but he was the nervous, blushing one? Zayn’s spell needed to let go of him before he went crazy. But of course, since Liam’s mind was racing, instead of responding to Zayn he opted to look around the room again. He noticed another canvas in the back that was covered by a sheet.

“What’s that over there?” Liam asked, already walking over to it.

Zayn propped himself up from the wall, “What?” all confidence lost his voice. He saw what Liam was going for, and knocked over a couple of paintings jumping to stop him. When he got to Liam, Zayn grabbed his hand and pulled him away from the painting.

“Sorry! Sorry! I didn’t mean to—” Liam began.

“It’s okay,” Zayn smiled at him. “You just really have to stop that asking and going at the same time thing.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Liam said again.

“And what did I say about apologizing?” Zayn asked jokingly.

“I know! Okay, I’m done. No more apologizing.” Liam laughed. For the first time he gave Zayn a genuine smile and it made Zayn’s heart flutter.

Zayn led him out of the studio and back to his car. All the while he told Liam about the significance of the paintings and future projects he had in mind. However, he managed to leave out anything about what was under the sheet. On the drive to Liam’s house both boys had calmed down a bit and sang along loudly when a good song came on the radio. Liam was finally comfortable talking to Zayn and it made Zayn very happy. He didn’t mean to scare him, he really didn’t. Zayn always liked making boys squirm because of his charm, but Liam was so sweet about it. Liam was warm and innocent and as soon as Zayn saw him smile for real the first time, he knew he only wanted to see that in Liam’s eyes.

When they got to Liam’s house the boys said their goodbyes, but before Liam could leave Zayn stopped him by gently holding on to his arm. “I hope we can do this again, Liam. I loved watching you play.”

Liam took a moment to catch his breath before nodding his head. “Yeah, it was fun.” He began to pull away but Zayn quickly caught his hand and pulled it in for a very light kiss. He smiled up at Liam from behind his hand and Liam swears his heart stopped. Liam took a big gulp of air, “Good-goodbye Zayn.”

“See you around Liam.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Louis and Harry were sitting on Harry’s bed, Louis drawing silly doodles on a medium sized whiteboard Harry had bought just for occasions like this. Harry was propped up on his bed with his back against the wall, with Louis sitting between his legs and leaning against his back. Harry’s arms were around Louis’ waist and his head was hooked onto his shoulder. His hands were rubbing nonsensical circles into Louis’ cute stomach and Louis would periodically let out little sighs of happiness.

After a while of watching Louis doodle and letting out little giggles onto his shoulder, Harry reached his hand up and took the marker from Louis’ hand.

**Louis, could I ask you a question? Like a serious question?**

Louis physically tensed his whole body but nodded his head anyway.

**I know you weren’t born this way. I know there was a time when you were able to hear. So I was wondering if you ever**

Harry waited a second before finishing what he was writing. He knew what he was about to ask was a very sensitive subject, but he really wanted to know everything about Louis.

**If you ever talked out loud.**

Harry heard Louis take a deep breath and looked up to see him close his eyes, clearly holding back tears.

**Louis I’m sorry~ You don’t have to answer that.**

Louis shook his head and erased the board. He started writing through his crying, but didn’t wipe the tears away until he was done.

**No, I'll answer. I used to talk out loud a lot actually. I used to be very loud and out going. But ever since the accident, I don’t know. I couldn’t hear my voice and I didn’t want anyone else to hear it either.**

**I can still talk out loud. I usually talk out loud with just my mother and sister, maybe once or twice with Zayn. And I will tell you anything you want to know, but I would rather wait for a while before talking to you.**

Harry read his message and gave Louis a nod to show that he understood. He took the marker from Louis to ask another question.

**If you will tell me anything, then can you tell me what did happen in that accident?**

Louis’ breath hitched and he felt the tears swell up again. He never liked thinking about that experience. But harry was so wonderful and perfect and he was holding him so tightly right now, as if he would never let go no matter what. Louis took the marker again and began to write.

While he was writing Harry looked away, not wanting to read anything until Louis was done. He nudged his nose against the back of Louis’ neck and took in his scent. Louis smelled like flowers, always like flowers. Harry left soft kisses on Louis’ skin and waited patiently for Louis to finish. When Louis was done he pushed back against Harry’s chest and handed him the board.

**I was six and completely stupid.**

“Louis, a six year old is never stupid.” Harry said. Louis just rolled his eyes and gestured for him to keep reading.

**It was snowing worse than it ever had before and I really wanted to go outside. I ran into the woods and I forgot about the pond that was there. I fell through the ice that covered the pond.**

**It was so cold Harry. I couldn’t feel anything at all. Thankfully my mum found me and saved me. But when she was taking me back to the house I blacked out. I tried to hold on and stay awake and keep my eyes open but I just couldn’t. The last thing I ever heard was my mother screaming for me.**

**When i woke up I couldn’t hear the nurse or my mum. I couldn’t even hear my own screams.**

Harry pulled Louis closer and held on tighter than before when he read that. The thought of Louis waking up in a hospital and screaming made Harry’s whole body shake.

**But even though I couldn’t hear, I could see like never before. I saw a bouquet of flowers next to me and they were so beautiful. I looked them up later, which I guess is when I started all this flower loving business.**

**They were called Stargazer Lilies.**

“Oh Louis,” Harry mumbled into his shoulder. He put the board down and buried his face into Louis’ neck. He peppered him with light kisses and wrapped his arms around Louis’ waist. Harry slipped out from behind Louis and laid him on the bed. He crawled up over Louis and touched their foreheads.

Harry pulled his face back so Louis could see what he said next.

“Louis, you are so brave. I’m so sorry that happened to you. And I want you to know I won’t ever let anything happen to you again.”

Louis nodded in understanding and wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck. The boys stared into each other’s eyes, knowing what was inevitably going to happen next, but both too nervous to initiate it.

Louis finally huffed out in frustration and pulled Harry down, connecting their lips at last.

Harry didn’t quite know what to do with himself at first, but after about a second he closed his eyes and pushed his lips back. The kiss was electric. Louis had never done this before but it felt so right, and it must have been right because he could feel Harry’s hands tighten on his hips. Harry slipped his tongue out and licked along Louis’ mouth. He graciously opened for him and let harry massage his tongue with his.

Harry heard Louis whimper at that, and other than laughter it was the first real sound he ever heard Louis make. Harry wanted to stop, he wanted to tell Louis that it was beautiful, but knew Louis wanted to wait.

They kissed for what felt like hours, years even. Harry had been kissed many times in life but none of them felt like this. None of them felt this right. It was like Louis was created and put on this earth just to fit Harry’s kisses. Louis finally pulled away and smiled so brightly the sun would be jealous. He reached for the whiteboard and marker and wrote a message to Harry.

**Well that took you long enough.**


	6. Gardenias

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bolded words are written and italicized words in quotes are signed words.

Louis was currently sitting on the counter of Styles Arrangements, reading a catalogue of gardening equipment. He liked afternoons like this; where he would go to the shop with Harry after school. It had been a couple of weeks since their first kiss and they had kissed a lot since then. Louis couldn’t seem to get enough of Harry; not that Harry was complaining. Whenever they were alone, Louis would pull Harry by his neck in for a kiss, and Harry would always wrap his arms around Louis’ tiny waist and kiss him right back. Their time spent in the garden was split between taking care of the flowers and heated make out sessions on the bench. Harry loved it.

The day was winding down and it was almost time for Harry to close the shop for the day. He had walked away from the counter some time ago, and Louis lost him the aisles of flowers. He came back a few minutes later with a small vase of purple flowers. The flowers were very tiny, but there were a lot of them, making the bouquet seem full. Louis recognized them immediately and smiled when Harry placed them in his hands and kissed his temple.

“So Lou, there was something I was meaning to ask you.” Harry said, stepping back so Louis could see him. Louis smiled and nodded his head for Harry to continue. “Louis would you—” Harry stopped and almost laughed at the ridiculously cheesy idea he suddenly had. For some reason he did it anyway and got down on his knees. “Louis, would you, pretty please, be my boyfriend?”

Louis’ smile faltered a bit and his face contorted in confusion. Harry suddenly felt a little bit less confident in his actions. “Um, was the kneeling too much? Oh god did you not want to be boyfriends? I’m sorry Lou—I thought you—”

Louis waved his hands up and he shook his head quickly. He reached behind the counter for a pen and paper.

**No! No, the kneeling was cute! But the thing is, I thought we already were. Boyfriends.**

Harry read his message and threw his head back in laughter, which caused Louis to cross his arms in embarrassment.

“Yeah Lou, I guess we already are.” Harry leaned forward and gave Louis a chaste kiss. “And to honor that I have given you this lovely vase of Primrose, which, if I remember what you told me, means young love.” Harry said proudly.

Louis nodded his head, but when he looked back down at the flowers something seemed off. He hopped off the countered grabbed the vase along with Harry’s head and pulled him down one of the aisles. He stopped in front of a bushel of white flowers and plucked some to put in the vase with the Primrose.

Harry looked at him quizzically and back at the newly formed arrangement. “Gardenias? Why Gardenias Lou?”

Louis picked up the little label in the bushel and pointed at something for Harry.

“SECRET LOVE.”

“Secret?” Harry asked him. “Secret from who Louis?”

Louis didn’t answer at first. Instead he started chewing on his bottom lip and walked Harry, and the bouquet, back to the checkout counter. He put down the vase and nervously picked up the pen and pad of paper.

**Zayn.**

Harry read the name with a very confused look. “Zayn? Why does it have to be a secret from him? I thought he was warming up to me.”

**He is but doesn’t completely trust you yet. Harry I haven’t even told him that you kissed me. I can’t just drop something like this on him without any warning. So please, let’s just keep it our little secret until I’m ready to tell him.**

Harry reluctantly agreed to the secret. It wasn’t easy for Harry to keep secrets, especially really important ones like this. But it was what Louis wanted, and let’s face it, Harry could never say no to him at this point. So, he just kissed Louis some more, leaning him back on the counter.

Louis laughed as Harry tried to climb on top of him and pushed him away. He raised his eyebrows sarcastically as if to say ‘Seriously, right now? Right here?’ so Harry backed off.

“Right, I haven’t even closed the shop yet.” Harry pulled Louis up from the counter and to the front of the store.

Harry locked the front door and turned the OPEN sign to CLOSED. He laced his fingers with Louis and walked them to his car, grinning like an idiot the whole time. This secret was going to kill him.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

As it turns out, that secret was going to be very difficult to cover up. The next day when Harry walked into English class Louis and Zayn were already in their seats at the back. Harry went back and sat next to Louis, using every bit of strength he had to not bend down and kiss him. Louis smiled timidly at him and both boys started blushing; something that didn’t go unnoticed by Zayn. He shrugged it off and went back to his work. Harry got his notebook out and wrote to Louis.

**Morning Lou.**

**Morning Harry.**

They looked at each other and almost combusted from having to hold in giggles. Harry put his hand on Louis’ desk; close enough to barely touch their fingers. Louis moves his pinky over Harry’s and knots their fingers together.

**Can I come to the shop this afternoon?**

Harry almost wrote a very enthusiastic yes, but then he remembered it was Thursday. Harry had Sign Language classes on Thursdays and Tuesdays.

**I’m sorry Lou, but not today. My mum is having me go out to a meeting with her tonight.**

Louis read the message with a confused look.

**A meeting for what?**

Harry almost slapped himself for not already telling Louis about his mother’s job.

**Yes, she helps plan weddings. We have the shop and then she is a partner at an agency. That’s why I work at the shop.**

That made sense to Louis, and it explained why Harry’s mum was never actually at the shop.

**Why do you have to go to the meeting?**

Right, Harry hadn’t really thought about that. God he was so bad at lying, especially to Louis, but he wanted the Sign Language to be a big surprise. He thought of something quick and hoped Louis would believe it.

**I have to get notes on bouquet orders for the wedding she is currently helping with.**

Louis shrugged at what Harry wrote and turned to the front of the class. Harry looked up and saw Zayn eyeing their hands. He quickly removed his fingers from Louis (which earned him a disappointed sigh from Louis) and went to his work.

This secret was going to be very difficult.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Ughhh!” Harry groaned and slammed his hands on the table. “I’m never going to get this Dani.”

The girl next to him, Danielle, just laughed and shook her head at him. She flicked her curly brown hair off of her shoulder and patted Harry’s hands. In the couple of weeks Harry had been taking these classes, he had memorized the alphabet and could spell almost anything but now they were moving on to conversational phrases and he was struggling.

“Harry, you will never get this if you stop trying, now come on. What does this mean?” Dani moved her hands gracefully, and slow enough for Harry to understand. Harry couldn’t understand how Dani was able to pick everything up so easily.

“What time is it.” Harry groaned back.

“Yes! See it’s not that bad.” She smiled at him. “But if you are struggling so much, why are you taking this class?”

“My boyfriend,” Harry smiled at the title. “He’s deaf. I want to learn for him.”

“Harry, that is so cute!” Dani said excitedly. “How do you guys communicate now?”

“Well we write things down or he reads my lips. It’s slow but effective.” Harry told her.

“I imagine it must get difficult at times though.” Dani said.

Harry shrugged. “Not really. I mean, I’m here to make it easier for him and me to talk. But Louis doesn’t seem to mind how it is now. He does get sort of insecure about me sometimes.”

Dani frowned at him. “Why’s that? You seem so understanding about everything.”

Harry sighed. “I am, but I’m in a band you see, and Louis thinks that just because he can’t hear my music I’m just going to up and leave him. I would never do that though, Louis is too wonderful and none of that bothers me.”

Dani thought about what he said. “Well, have you tried the speaker trick?” she asked. Harry just gave her a confused expression and shook his head. “Oh come on Harry! Have you never watched TV or anything? Put Louis’ hands on a speaker and he can feel the music. It’s not exactly the same, but I think he would like it.”

“Huh.” Harry leaned back in his chair and ran a hand through his curls. “How come I didn’t think of that?”

Dani just laughed again at him and shrugged. “I’m just smarter than you I suppose. Now let’s get back to the lesson so you can woo your Louis.”

“Ha ha, alright for Louis.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Today had been incredibly strange for Zayn. Louis and Harry were acting so odd to each other in English, and Louis seemed very upset to be going home with him. When he dropped Louis off he barely got a goodbye before Louis was sulking up to his house. Now Zayn was driving back to his own house, left with the thoughts of what the fuck is going on?

That is until he saw a familiar form walking along the sidewalk in the cold winter air ahead of him. Zayn didn’t even hesitate to pull his car up beside the boy and roll down his window.

“Liam! Hey mate, do you need a ride?” he shouted out to him.

Liam jerked his body around but then smiled when he saw Zayn. “Yeah sure! Niall was supposed to take me but he had to stay after.” Liam threw his bag in the back and sat next to Zayn in the passenger’s seat. “You sure this isn’t too much trouble?”

“Liam, it’s never too much trouble with you.” Zayn said sweetly, and, yup, there was that adorable blush Liam always got. “I actually wanted to talk to you about something. It’s Louis and Harry related…”

“Oh, um okay. What’s up?” Liam asked.

“Is there anything going on between them? Anything that I should know about?” Zayn said.

“I, um. I’m not sure I’m the one you should be asking about this,” Liam told him. “But Harry hasn’t said anything to me or the lads yet. So, I guess I don’t know. Would it really be so wrong if there was?”

“YES!” Zayn shouted. He regained control of himself before sighing and shaking his head. “No, I don’t know. I just want to protect Louis. I know you told me Harry is a good guy, and so far I have seen that, but I just have this urge to make sure Louis doesn’t get hurt.”

“Sure Liam,” Zayn said cautiously.

“Well it’s just… you talk about Louis a lot and you have all those paintings, and you are really protective of him and um well, are you—do you love Louis? Like really love him?” Liam said. Zayn could hear the hurt and rejection in his voice already.

“No Liam. I’m not in love with Louis, if that’s what you mean.” Zayn couldn’t keep the voice in his head from saying, _I might be in love with you, you big idiot._ “He is my oldest friend. I’ve been there with him through everything. His accident, his recovery, when all his friends left him, when people would call him weird or ‘special needs’ because he was deaf, I was there for him. I’m not going to sit idly by if Harry is going to hurt him.”

Liam looked back ahead at the road. He wasn’t going to stay silent for long though. Harry was his best friend, and while Zayn had some good reasons for worrying, Liam wouldn’t let him say these things. “I don’t know what’s going on with them, and I’m not going to pretend that I do. What I do know is that since Harry started spending time with Louis he has been happy. I haven’t seen Harry so happy and excited for life in a really long time. His last boyfriend was a complete dick and after they broke up, Harry barely wanted to leave his house. Louis gave him his light back, and I know Harry will never hurt him like you seem to think he would.”

“Liam, are you really sure about this?” Zayn questioned. Liam nodded his head and Zayn settled down for now. “I still don’t want them lying to me.”

Liam sighed, this wasn’t the kind of conversation he wanted to have with Zayn. “I’m sure they will tell all of us when they are ready.”

The rest of the drive home was quiet except for the radio and Liam occasionally humming along. Zayn took a note of how good the humming sounded and thought Liam must be an amazing singer. He pulled up in front of Liam’s house and unlocked the door so Liam could get out. However, Liam just sat in his seat, rubbing his hands on his legs.

“Zayn, I don’t want to leave things this way. I didn’t mean to get you upset.” Liam said quietly. “Frowns don’t suit you.”

That last comment had Zayn smiling in no time. He didn’t mean to get all preachy on Liam, but Louis just brings out his crazy side. “Thanks Liam, I’m sorry to. And I will trust what you said.”

Liam reached across the seat and squeezed Zayn’s hand. He quickly retracted his hand and opened the door. He got out and started walking away, but suddenly he turned back around and tapped on Zayn’s window. He rated it down and looked at Liam expectantly.

“I was wondering how that painting of yours was going, you know the one under the sheet?” Liam asked.

Then Zayn was blushing, not that Liam would know why. “Um, yes it’s coming along just fine.”

“That’s um, that’s good.” Liam said. He walked back up to his house and gave Zayn one last wave goodbye.

Zayn drove back home with a very bright smile on his face. His mind was no longer on Louis and Harry, but instead it was full of inspiration to finish that painting.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Christmas was always a good time for Louis. He celebrated his eighteenth birthday with his family and got a very nice message from Zayn and his family—who were traveling. Harry texted Louis all through the night and was the first to wish him happy Christmas. Harry asked Louis if he wanted to spend New Year’s with him to exchange presents and have their own private celebration.

Harry: My mum is going to be out getting drunk all night and my sister has some Uni party, so it would be just us.

Louis: I don’t know how my mother would feel about the being alone part. I’ll ask her.

Which was how Louis found himself, sitting across the dinner table from his mother, barely able to get the question out.

“ _Mum, can I ask you something?_ ”

Jo put her fork down and smiled at Louis. “Of course Louis.”

“ _Could I spend New Year’s with Harry… at his house… by ourselves?_ ” Louis signed quickly.

Lottie dropped her food immediately and started laughing. She put her hand over her mouth to stop herself, but couldn’t keep it in. Both Louis and Jo shot her a glare and she stopped.

“Is something funny about Louis spending time with his new friend Lottie?” Jo asked her.

“No…” Lottie started laughing again and this time she sang out, “Louis’ got a boyfriend! Louis’ got a boyfriend!”

Luis turned red and sank down in his chair. He couldn’t even look at his mother, who was just smiling at him. However, Jo quickly turned back to Lottie. “Lottie, go upstairs. I need to talk to your brother about some things.” Lottie groaned and grabbed her plate then left the table. Jo kicked Louis’ foot under the table to get his attention back.

“ _Is it true Louis? Is Harry your boyfriend?_ ” she asked him, not even trying to hold back her excitement.

Louis was a little afraid that if he answered yes then she wouldn’t let him go. However, the more he looked at her, the happier she seemed for him. Louis settled for a simple nod as an answer.

“Oh Louis!” Jo jumped out of her seat and hopped around the table to hug her son. He hugged her back but quickly shook her off of him.

“ _Is this a yes?_ ” he asked hopefully.

“ _Well, I guess it is,_ ” Jo said. “ _But! But, no funny business with him alright?_ ” Louis just gave her a look of faked confusion and innocence. “ _Louis. You know what I mean. Don’t let him do anything that—_ ”

Louis grabbed his mother’s hands to make her stop what she was going to say. “ _Mum, you already gave me that speech way before I even needed it. Trust me, I know and I won’t._ ”

Jo laughed and kissed his forehead. “ _I know you do. Just be careful._ ”

“Always. Thank you mummy!” Louis kissed her cheek and ran upstairs to tell Harry the good news.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

New Year’s with Harry ended up being very tame, at first. They ordered pizza and Harry had made chocolate covered strawberries. They didn’t bother watching all of the NYE festivities on TV, opting instead to exchange their Christmas gifts in front of a lit fireplace.

Harry had gotten Louis a necklace with a small charm on it in the shape of a flower. “The lady at the shop said it was supposed to be a lily and I know how much you love Stargazers so I just thought that—”

Louis cut him off with a kiss. He picked up the whiteboard that Harry had made a habit of keeping near him at all times.

**Harry, I love it. Help me put it on?**

Harry nodded his head eagerly and sat behind Louis. He adjusted the clasp in place and kissed his neck. He moved back in front of Louis and stared at the way the necklace rested gently on Louis’ collarbones. Harry couldn’t stop himself from leaning forward and kissing Louis passionately. Louis welcomed it happily but soon pushed back against him.

**Okay, now it’s your turn.**

Louis reached next to him and struggled to pick up a very nicely wrapped package. Harry figured it must have been very heavy so he helped Louis pass it along. Harry undid the wrapping carefully and his heart almost stopped when he saw what it was.

There was a simple brown box, but in that box were about ten records, all from bands Harry loved. He picked them up one by one, his jaw dropped in awe. There was The Rolling Stones, The Ramones, The Beatles, all of Harry’s favorite classics.

“Louis, these are… this is… oh Lou, I love it.” Harry stuttered out. Harry couldn’t keep his eyes off the records. “How did you think of this?”

**You seem like the type to like vinyl and I chose the bands based off of your shirts you wear. Do you really like it?**

Harry read the message and put the records to the side. He gently grabbed onto Louis’ ankles and pulled him into his lap to kiss him. “It’s perfect. You are perfect.”

Harry latched his lips back onto Louis’ for another kiss. Louis smiled into it and wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck. Harry moaned into the kiss when Louis pulled on his curls and moved his hands up Louis’ legs to rest on his hips under his shirt. Before either of them could get too excited, Harry pulled back from the kiss, causing a frustrated whine to slip from Louis. Louis looked up at Harry with pleading eyes as if to ask what was wrong.

“Lou my friend, Danielle, told me about this really, um well, cool trick and your present made me think of it. Do you want to try?” Harry asked him. Louis nodded his head and pulled himself off of Harry. Harry got up and laced his fingers with Louis’ and picked up the Rolling Stone record. He walked them over to his record player—a gift from his sister last year—and put the Stone’s on. He turned the volume up rather loud, almost too loud for him to stand, but he wanted to make sure it would work. He held out his hands and gestured for Louis to place his hands on top. Louis just looked at him, puzzled, but eventually he gave him his hands. Harry moved Louis’ hands over to the speakers and- Oh! That was new.

Louis realized what Harry was doing. He could feel the vibrations through the speakers. The song was fast paced, and there wasn’t a lot of bass, but Louis liked it. It felt amazing. When Louis looked at Harry, he was beaming up at him. Harry took one of his hands and placed it on Louis’ cheek. He circled his thumb on Louis’ skin and leaned down to kiss along his jaw. He moved his lips down to Louis’ neck, biting in lightly then licking over to sooth it out. He sucked and bit into the spot until there was a deep re love bite showing, then moved back to Louis’ lips.

Louis moved one of his hands up Harry’s chest and he grabbed into his shirt, pulling him ever closer while opening his mouth to deepen the kiss. Having both the sensation of kissing Harry and feeling the vibrations of the speaker was almost too much for Louis. Almost. After a few seconds—or minutes, who really knows—Louis took his other hand off to tug Harry’s curls once again. Harry growled (Louis could feel it in his mouth) and pushed Louis so his back was against the speaker, and okay, that felt much better. Now the music was reverberating through Louis’ spine and Harry was moving his free hand down to Louis’ thigh. He kneaded his fingers into the muscle and yanked the leg around his waist, self-control completely left behind.

Not that Louis minded. He immediately tightened his leg around harry and ground their hips together. Once again he felt Harry moan into his mouth and he started moving his hand back down Harry’s torso. He tugged Harry’s shirt up and harry broke the kiss to remove it. Louis took a moment to appreciate each contour of muscle Harry had, running his hands over the skin. Harry pulled his hands away and led him to the couch.

He yanked Louis’ shirt off and kissed down to Louis’ small stomach before moving to the couch. Louis straddled his lap and enveloped his arms around Harry’s neck. This was a completely new experience for him. Harry was the first person he had ever kissed and now, well Louis didn’t even know how far he wanted to take this. He just continued to kiss Harry and run his fingers through hair and over his shoulders. Harry’s hands were gentle around his hips, over his thighs, and occasionally they would find their way to Louis’ bum. Harry really seemed to like that part of Louis the most.

Louis wanted to take it farther. Screw what his mother said, he was ready. He ground his hips down into Harry’s in a rhythm he hoped matched the music he could no longer feel. Harry attached his lips to the clean side of Louis’ neck to suck a mark like the one on the other side. Louis knew he was whimpering, and he had a feeling it was really loud, because he could feel Harry moan against his neck. Louis started to move one of his hands down Harry again, but this time he didn’t stop at Harry’s waist, instead he started to palm Harry through his jeans, but Harry stopped him.

Harry grabbed his hand and pulled out of the kiss. Louis whined, very disappointed and slightly embarrassed. Harry looked at him, he eyes dark and skin flushed and slightly sweaty, biting his bottom lip. Louis slumped out of Harry’s lap and curled in on himself, completely humiliated.

“Louis, um, I’m sorry but I just… we don’t have to… Lou, baby I just don’t want to do any of that yet,” Harry said, his breath coming out uneven. “Louis, I’m sorry. I should have… should have controlled myself better. Please don’t be upset.”

Louis looked away and reached for the whiteboard. While he was writing he spread his legs for Harry to sit between.

**I don’t understand. I thought you would have wanted that. Don’t you want me?**

“Oh god. Louis of course I want you. So much, but I don’t want to move this fast. My last boyfriend, all he wanted was sex. Just sex all the time. I don’t want that with you. I want so much more.” Harry lightly touched Louis’ pink cheeks and rubbed along his puffed up lips. “Can we just, take this slow?”

**Yes, I want that too. I’m sorry, also, I don’t know what came over me.**

“That’s okay Lou. Slow is good.” Harry leaned forward and connected their lips in a final chaste kiss.

**You never talk about your ex. I told you about my accident, so it’s only fair you tell me about him.**

Harry laughed faintly. “Yeah I guess it is.” Harry scooted himself closer between Louis’ legs. “Where should I start?”

**The beginning is usually nice.**

Harry rolled his eyes at Louis’ sass. “Okay. Um his name was Nick; well I guess it still is, that’s not the point.” Harry laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. “Right um, Nick Grimshaw. When we met I was fifteen and he was seventeen and I liked him right away. He was one of the cool kids and he was so charming and handsome and I felt lucky to even be in his presence. Well he um, asked me out and he was really sweet at first and I thought we were in love so I—.” Harry paused to breathe and Louis held onto his hands. “I sort of, um, lost my virginity to him. And then what we had turned into sex all the time. For some reason even when he was cold and distant, I still thought he loved me.

Then, after a year, he went away to Uni and said he wanted to do a long distance thing. Of course I said yes, I was so naïve. Well, one weekend I went to visit him, as a surprise, and when I got to his room he was in bed… with another guy. He started yelling at me, telling me I was just a dumb kid. I should have been the one who was yelling. He took everything from me, and yet I was the one who was all wrong.”

Harry was sobbing now, so Louis just pulled him close to comfort him. He pressed kisses into Harry’s hair and massaged his hands down his back. Louis didn’t know exactly how it felt to have your heart broken like that, but he knew what it was like to have people disappoint him. To let him down and leave him.

Harry pulled himself together and wiped the tears from his eyes. “So that’s why I want to take things slow, because it’s not about the physical stuff with you. Louis I think I—no actually, I know it. Louis I love you.”

Louis felt his heart skip a beat. Like actually skip a beat. Harry just said he loved him. Harry loves him. Harry Styles was in love with Louis Tomlinson. Louis closed his eyes. He took a deep breath before speaking out loud for the first time.

“Harry, I love you too.”


	7. Lily of the Valley

_“So that’s why I want to take things slow, because it’s not about the physical stuff with you. Louis I think I-no actually, I know it. Louis I love you.”_

_“Harry, I love you too.”_

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Harry’s heart stopped, his jaw dropped, and he leaned back away from Louis. He just said I love you to Louis. And Louis said it back. He said it. Out loud.

“Louis, you um… you talked. Like, spoke.” Harry was tripping over his words with excitement. He started giggling and he had to put a hand over his mouth to stop himself. “You talked to me! And you said you loved me! I-I I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be laughing, but I’m so fucking happy.” Harry reached his arms out and pulled Louis into him by his neck. He kissed him so hard, he was sure their lips would bruise, but Harry just couldn’t help himself. “Does this mean you will talk to me more often?”

Louis bit into his lip and shrugged his shoulders. “I guess times like now when it’s just you and me. But not around other people,” his voice was so smooth. It was golden and a little high pitched, so clear for someone who couldn’t hear.

“God, your voice Lou. It’s so beautiful. I think I could listen to it all day. Talk some more for me Louis.” Harry looked at him hopefully.

Louis laughed and kissed Harry’s neck. “What do you want me to say?”

“Anything Lou,” Harry looked around and his eyes landed on the records still in the box. He leaned off the couch and grabbed the Abby Road record that sat on top. “Here, read this sleeve to me. Just read everything it says. Please Louis, I just want to listen to you.”

So Louis read to Harry, and a little while later he had gone through all of the record sleeves and was so tired he was asleep mid-sentence. Harry took the last record from Luis’ hands and shook him gently to wake up.

“Come on Lou, look at me.” Harry tried to say while Louis’ eyes were still open, but the other boy was exhausted. So Harry smirked, kissed Louis’ temple, and picked him up from the couch. Louis was awake enough to wrap his arms around Harry’s neck, while Harry carried him bridal style to his bedroom.

When they got there, Harry slowly set Louis down on the bed. Louis wined and pulled on his shirt, so Harry sat next to him to help him pull it all the way off. He settled himself under the duvet as Harry walked around to the other side of the bed. He removed his own shirt and slipped into the bed behind Louis. Their bodies fit perfectly together and Harry ran his hand along Louis’ side. He loved Louis’ curves and his skin was so soft and warm. Harry slid his hand over Louis’ stomach and his face in Louis’ mused up hair. Harry kissed the back of Louis’ neck and he was asleep in minutes.

These little sleepovers became a recurring thing for them. Louis would go to Harry’s band practice, sometimes Zayn would join, and then Louis would stay the night. Louis met Harry’s mother the morning after the first one and thought she was just lovely. Anne was all smiles and cheer and from what he could tell, she thought Louis was adorable. Harry would get embarrassed by her constantly fawning on them whenever they were all in the same room, but Louis loved it. It wasn’t often Louis met an adult that didn’t pity him.

Louis’ favorite part of these sleepovers was waking up next to Harry. He always woke up with Harry’s arms wrapped around him and his face snuggled into Louis’ shoulder. Harry was so much taller than him that when he was lying against him, Harry would touch almost every inch behind Louis. Louis loved rolling so that he could face Harry and watch him until he woke up. His pretty red lips were parted and letting out tiny breaths. When his eyes fluttered open, Louis would quickly shut his own and every morning Harry would kiss his nose.

Every morning but this one though. On this particular morning at the end of January, Louis woke up and his back was cold. There were no arms around him and no mouth against his shoulder. Louis rolled over and Harry’s sleeping form was not there to greet him. Louis sat up and looked around the empty room. The records were in their case, clothes thrown on the ground, and band posters covered the dark walls. But there was no Harry. He did, however, smell something delicious coming from the kitchen.

Louis got up from the bed and pulled some clothes on before walking out of the door and down the hall to the smell. When he got to the kitchen he found Harry flipping a pancake on the skillet. He had nothing on but his boxers and an apron and his curls were still messy from the night before. He looked up at Louis after catching another pancake and smiled brightly at him.

“Morning Lou! Mum had to go out for a meeting so I’m making breakfast!” Harry put two of the pancakes on a plate and passed that and the syrup to Louis.

“Smells wonderful Harry.” Louis said as he took a bite. “Wow, Harry! These taste fantastic.”

Harry’s heart beats a little bit faster every time he hears Louis say his name. He walks behind Louis, who was sitting at the breakfast nook, and rested his hands on each side of Louis against the counter. Louis continued eating and Harry kissed along his neck and shoulders. He whispers I love you against the skin, and even though he knows Louis can’t hear it, it still feels good to say. Louis finished his breakfast quickly and he pushed his plate forward when he’s done.

Harry sits on the stool next to him and picks up one of his hands to kiss each of the knuckles. “Lou, I’ve got a bit of a surprise for you.” Harry scoots closer to Louis on the stool. “But first we have to get some more clothes on; it’s outside.”

Louis watched skeptically as Harry bounded away to his room. What on earth could be so excited outside? Louis shook his head and gathered up his jacket and shoes. Harry comes back in full winter clothes and he has a scarf and pair of gloves for Louis.

Louis puts them on and next thing he knows Harry is covering his eyes with his hands and leading him to the door. Harry opens the door and takes away his hands to reveal the surprise. It had snowed last. A white sheet was covering every inch of the ground and the trees and the cars. Louis looked back at Harry, who was smiling so brightly.

Harry had always loved the first snowfall of the year, and it had taken extra-long to get here this winter. Louis didn’t particularly feel the same way. Ever since the accident, whenever it snowed Louis would stay inside with his books while his mother sister played outside. So Louis just stood nervously, hoping Harry only wanted to look at it. Sadly Harry grabbed at Louis’ hand to pull him outside. Louis jerked it back, but Harry went outside anyway. Louis backed further into the doorway and watched Harry run in the snow. Harry’s smiling made Louis happy, but he just couldn’t get himself to leave the house.

When Harry turned around and saw Louis cowering in the doorway his face dropped. He looked at the beautiful scene around him and then he realized it. Harry was standing in a pile of freezing snow with Louis hiding inside. Louis, who had lost his hearing in these conditions. Harry was an idiot.

“God Lou! I’m so sorry! How could I forget something like this?” Harry ran back up to the house, but he still didn’t go back inside. Instead he reached out his hand for Louis to grab onto. “Here. It’s alright Louis. Nothing’s going to happen to you. I promise.”

Louis shook his head at first, but Harry looked so hopeful and he knew Harry wouldn’t let anything happen to him. “I-I, Harry I don’t think I c-can.”

“That’s okay, that’s okay baby.” Harry stepped into the door. He put both of his hands on Louis’ cheeks and kissed him. “Shhh, Louis.” Harry kissed him again and slipped his hands down to grasp Louis’ much smaller ones. He started to slowly pull Louis out of the door, not breaking the kiss, and thankfully Louis didn’t stop him. Harry walked them down the steps and stopped once Louis was fully on the snow.

When Louis felt the snow under his feet he pulled out of the kiss and looked around him. There really was a lot of snow, and it really was gorgeous. It shimmered when the light hit it and was soft to the touch. Louis turned his head every which way and decided that no, this isn’t as scary as he thought. Especially not with Harry’s warm hands holding his, and the way Harry bit his lip, as if he was afraid Louis would let go and run back inside.

But Louis wasn’t going anywhere. In fact, before Harry could even ask him if this was okay, Louis was kissing him fiercely and laughing as they fell into the snow. Louis started giggling at Harry’s shocked expression as his curls stuck to the snow.

“So this is okay then?” Harry asked, almost too dazed to form words.

Louis nuzzled their noses together and kissed Harry’s forehead. “Yes, I’m fine really.” He rolled them over so Harry was on top and in between his legs. “I don’t know what it is about you Styles, but I always feel safe with you.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Zayn was sitting on his porch, sketching a doodle of the snow fallen on his yard, bored out of his mind. That is until he heard a familiar voice yell to him from across the street.

“Zayn! Hey it’s Liam!” Liam called.

Zayn’s heart beat sped up. “Liam! Why don’t you come over here so we don’t have to yell?”

Liam looked both ways, such a cute goody-two-shoes, and ran to Zayn’s porch. When he got there he leaned against one of the beams and peaked at Zayn’s drawing. “That’s lovely Zayn. Did you just do it?”

“Oh, yeah. I was bored.” He put his pen down and closed the sketchpad. “Do you wanna go inside? It’s fucking freezing out here.”

“Oh, uh, sure.” Liam said as Zayn got up from his seat and started walking inside. When he didn’t follow, Zayn turned back to him with a smirk.

“Come on Li, I’ll make you hot chocolate,” he said. That seemed to have Liam convinced, because he was happily hopping through the door behind him.

They walked to Zayn’s kitchen and Liam sat at the table. Zayn put his sketchpad down across from Liam and went to the counter to start on the hot chocolate.

“So, Liam, what were you doing walking by my house, in the snow, anyway? Not stalking me now are you?” Zayn asked as he filled the kettle with milk and put it on one of the burners.

Liam’s cheeks started sporting a pink hue, and god Zayn just loved that. “N-no, I’m not stalking you I promise. Sorry if I seemed creepy—”

“Liam!” Zayn turned around laughing at the boy stuttering at the table. “I’m sorry babe that was just a joke. And honestly, if you were stalking me, I don’t really think I’d mind.”

Liam decided he was just going to stop trying to hide these blushes that Zayn caused; it was just too much trouble at this point. Liam coughed and realized he never answered Zayn’s question. “I was just walking around the sheets, I do that in weather that I like, and I remembered you lived up here, so I, sort of, um, wanted to see you.”

“That’s sweet Li,” Zayn said. “And I’m glad you did, I was gonna die of boredom.” He turned back to the milk and started mixing in the cocoa powder.

Liam glanced down at the sketchpad and reached across to look at it. “Do you mind if I look at your sketches?”

Zayn didn’t turn around. “Something tells me you have already picked up the book.”

Liam quickly dropped it back onto the table. “Sorry. I don’t know why I do that.”

Zayn just laughed and finished pouring the hot chocolate into mugs for them. He walked back to the table and gave Liam his mug, and then he scooted a chair next to Liam and sat close to him. Close enough for their legs to be touching. Both of their breathing sped up at the contact, but they kept their cools.

“You can look at it if you want. It’s mostly just quick little things.” Zayn said, taking a sip from his cocoa.

Liam picked up the book and was about to open it, but then he changed his mind. “You could always, I don’t know, sketch me and then I’ll look at the rest.”

“Oh I already—I mean, yeah. I would really like that.” He took the book from Liam and picked up his pencil. “Do you mind if I, sort of, position you? And try not to move too much.”

“Yeah sure!” Liam said very excited about Zayn’s sketch. Zayn moved Liam’s face so he could see his profile and tilted it down a bit. He whispered a perfect and began his sketch.

While Zayn was drawing, the boys kept up a light conversation. Liam was finding it hard to keep still so Zayn had to keep moving his head back into position. Each of those touches had both boys getting more and more excited. When Zayn was done with the sketch he dropped his pen and moved his eyes from the picture to Liam to make sure he got everything right.

“Are you ready to see it Li?” Zayn asked tentatively.

“Do you think we could start at the beginning of the book?” Liam asked. Zayn nodded his head and opened the first page.

The first sketch was of a woman with Zayn’s eyes and smile, Liam figured it was his mother. The next couple of pages were still-life’s of random objects. There were more sketches of Zayn’s parents and quite a few of Louis. There was even one of Harry with Louis. Then Liam got to a very interesting set of pages. They were all of him; Liam smiling, playing his bass, sitting in Zayn’s car, and finally the one Zayn had just drawn of his profile.

Liam’s jaw dropped. Zayn really was a good artist, because all of them looked so real. Maybe Liam should have found it slightly creepy that there were at least ten pictures of just him, but instead he was flattered. This was how Zayn saw him, and it was lovely.

“Wow Zayn these are, um,” Liam couldn’t quite finish what he was saying, as he was too busy staring at the portrait.

“I guess I’m the creepy one now, huh?” Zayn laughed nervously and wouldn’t look directly at Liam.

“No! No, trust me it’s not creepy.” Liam assured him. “Zayn y-you made me look beautiful.”

“Liam, you are beautiful.” Zayn said, finally looking up at him.

Liam looked down at the sketch and back at Zayn. Next second he dropped the book, grabbed Zayn by the back of his neck, and pulled him in for a long and passionate kiss. Zayn smiled into it and kissed Liam back, wrapping his hands around his waist. He pulled back for air and laughed giddily.

“Well, that was unexpected.” Zayn said breathlessly.

Liam wasn’t having any of the talking though. “Just kiss me.” So, Zayn kissed him again. And again. And again. And maybe that afternoon wasn’t as boring as he thought it was.


	8. White Lily

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bolded words are written and italicized words in quotes are signed words.

It had been a long time since Louis and Zayn hung out just the two of them. Louis had been spending so much of his time with Harry, so Zayn felt they needed some alone time. Of course, they both had some things they needed to talk about.

So, one week before Valentine’s Day, Zayn stayed over at Louis’ house so they could sort everything out. Zayn and Liam didn’t have the talk about what they were yet, but they had gone on a couple of dates since the first kiss. Louis knew they were spending more time together, but he and Zayn hadn’t had any really intimate conversations since the beginning of the year.

The night had been fun so far, but that was mainly because neither of them brought up the serious matters yet. So at about midnight Zayn thought it was finally time they sat down and thought things out. They were on Louis’ bed, facing each other, and waiting for one of them to start.

Eventually Zayn cracked. “ _I’m dating Liam. And I’m going to ask him to be my boyfriend._ ” It all comes out in a bit of a rush and Louis has to blink a couple of times before comprehending it. “ _I just thought you should know that Lou._ ”

Louis nodded his head. He had a feeling that was coming, and he really was happy for Zayn, but he felt a little guilty for keeping Harry a secret. He looked up at Zayn, who was giving him a very strange expression.

“Dammit Louis! _Just tell me what’s going on with you and Harry. You guys aren’t exactly subtle or anything, but I want to hear it from you. I have waited long enough._ ” Zayn tried not to seem too angry but he could tell that wasn’t really working.

Louis got up from the bed and started pacing the floor nervously. “Right um, then I guess I should tell you… _Harry is my boyfriend._ ”

Louis thought Zayn would be mad and storm around but when he looked back at him, he was just sitting on the bed with a very satisfied smile. “ _Thank you for telling me then. I’m just going to tell you now that I’m okay with it._ ”

Louis smiled brightly and jumped back to Zayn on the bed, giving him a very big kiss on the cheek. “ _Liam must have really calmed you down I see._ ”

Zayn shook him off and gave him a stern look. “ _You didn’t let me finish. I’m okay with it, but if he fucks anything up, I’m fucking him up. Got it?_ ”

Louis nodded his head to show he understood, and he leaned back on his pillows. Zayn noticed that Louis was in an even better mood than normal. He had at first thought it was due to being with Harry or telling Zayn, but then he noticed Louis was glowing. Literally glowing. Zayn tapped on Louis’ leg to get his attention.

“ _Louis, there’s something different about you. I thought maybe it was just Harry, but I’ve got Liam and even I’m not as cheery as you. And trust me; Liam makes me very, very happy._ ” Zayn knew there was even more Louis wasn’t telling him. “ _Is there anything else with Harry?_ ”

Louis bit into his lip and rolled over so Zayn couldn’t see him. Some things had happened in the past week, well, since Harry’s birthday on the first of February, which Louis was very excited about. “Zayn? Um, h-how far have you and Liam gone?”

Even that question answered a lot of what Zayn already suspected within itself. He moved to the other side of the bed so Louis could see his answer. “ _Lou, it’s been like, two weeks. Liam and I haven’t done a single thing other than kiss._ ” He rubbed a hand on Louis’ side. “ _What about you and Harry?_ ”

“ _Well, um at first Harry wanted to go slow. He said it was for my benefit but his last boyfriend was shit._ ” Louis began.

“ _Yeah, Liam told me. Nick something-or-other right?_ ” Zayn asked.

“ _Yeah. Well that was fine at first but, then Harry’s birthday came around and I wanted it to be special. So after dinner we were making out on his bed and I… well… sort of um, well I went down on him…_ ” Louis looked away again. He shouldn’t really be embarrassed, but he’d never had to talk about this sort of stuff with Zayn before. “ _We’ve done some other stuff since then, but like, we haven’t had sex or anything yet._ ”

“Damn Louis!” Zayn laughed and was almost proud of his friend. “ _All grown up and blowing rock stars!_ ”

“Oh god!” Louis threw a pillow at Zayn’s face and he turned red instantly. “ _Do you have to make those kinds of comments? I thought you didn’t even like Harry?_ ”

Zayn sighed dramatically. “ _I do like him! I promise! I’m just looking out for you._ ” He smirked at him. “ _Has he blown you yet? Bet he’s good. Those lips were made to suck co—_ ”

“Yes! Okay! _Yes he has and yes he is good._ ” Louis cut him off. “ _Now can we please move on from my sex life?_ ”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Harry was at his locker, smiling at a text message from Niall, who had just finished another song for their competition set list. He finished getting his books from his locker and was about to walk away, when Zayn walked up to him. Louis had told him he told Zayn about their relationship, so Harry knew it was only a matter of time before Zayn confronted him about it. But Zayn didn’t seem hostile like Harry thought he would be.

“I’m not going to hurt him,” Harry said as he put the last of his books away. “I love him.”

“I know that,” Zayn said calmly.

Harry looked at Zayn suspiciously, but he couldn’t find any sign of disdain on his face. “You do?”

“Yes, I do.” Zayn sighed and leaned back against the lockers. “I’m not going to lecture you anymore, Harry. Trust me when I say you have proven yourself. It also helps that your boy Liam does a very good job at calming me down about, well about everything.”

“I’ll have to thank him then,” Harry said as he closed his locker. He leaned against it and crossed his arms, not really knowing why Zayn made him so nervous. “There is something that I haven’t told Louis though. I haven’t told anybody really.”

Zayn furrowed his brow and looked questioningly at him. “And what’s that exactly?”

“Um, well you see I’ve sort of um,” Harry ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve been taking Sign Language classes at the community center for a few weeks now. And honestly, I’m shit at it. You’re kind of my hero for being so fluent with it.”

“Well, I started when I was really young,” Zayn smiled. “You’re doing that just for Louis?”

“I’m trying! But it’s fucking difficult.” Harry exclaimed.

Zayn rubbed the back of his neck and stared at the exacerbated boy next to him. “I could help you if you want?”

Harry’s eyes lit up. “Really? Zayn you don’t know what that would mean to me!”

“You want to make Louis happy, that’s all the motivation I need.” Zayn said. “Just let me know when you need help.”

“Thank you Zayn! Thank you so much!” Harry was about to hug him, but Zayn gave him a stern look before he could.

“So, do you and Louis have anything planned for Valentine’s Day? Liam and I were just going to see a movie and have some dinner, you know? Nothing too exciting.” Zayn told him.

“Liam likes those sorts of simple things though.” Harry said. “I’ve got a little surprise for Louis set up. But I’m not saying anything more. I don’t want to ruin it.”

Zayn nodded his head in understanding and left Harry to his thoughts. Harry just smiled giddily at how his day had gone so far and his thoughts of the upcoming Valentine’s Day.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Looking back this amount of flowers seemed like a good idea to Louis, at first that is. But now standing outside of Harry’s house with this huge bouquet in hand, he thinks maybe it was a bit much. You see, in Louis’ hands is a bouquet of seven different kinds of flowers, all with the same general meaning. However, it was the tiny packet and bottle that Louis had in his jacket pocket that had him especially nervous for that night.

When Harry opened the door Louis could barely see over the bouquet, but he knew that Harry was trying to hold back laughter at the sight in front of him. Louis was in his Sunday’s best with a giant bouquet covering his face and Harry loved it.

Harry was about to greet Louis properly but he realized he couldn’t see him properly, so he wrapped his large hands around the base of the bouquet and took it from Louis’ hands. Once he was sure Louis could see him, Harry spoke. “Well, these are lovely Louis.”

“I know it’s a bit much, but you’re my first Valentine. I wasn’t sure what to get.” Louis laughed nervously and kissed Harrys cheek.

“I love them.” Harry said, kissing Louis properly on his mouth. “And I love you, now let’s get inside and try to find a vase big enough for these.”

Louis followed him inside and as soon as he walked through the door, his nose picked up the delicious scent of what he guessed was his dinner. Harry was, surprisingly, able to find a vase suitable for the flowers. Louis tried to get a peek at what was cooking in the kitchen but Harry covered his eyes and led him away from it. He walked them to the door leading into Harry’s dining room and when Louis could see again, he was astounded by what was waiting for him.

There were tall lit candles in the middle of the large table and two place settings with Harry’s family’s finest china set for them. The room was mostly dark with a few fairy lights strung around the walls. Harry walked around Louis and placed the bouquet at the center of the table; he then turned back to Louis and extended a hand to him to guide him to the table.

“Harry, this is amazing.” Louis said as he sat down.

“I’m glad you like it, but this is just the beginning.” Harry said, still not sitting in his place next to Louis. “I cooked! And everything is all ready and waiting in the kitchen. Just stay right there, and I will be back with our meal in a sec.”

Louis nodded as Harry quickly ran out of the door to get their food. He came back in soon enough with two full plates of Chicken Risotto, which he was very proud of. “I know it’s not much, but mum says this is the best meal that I make, so I thought it would be good and now I’m rambling.”

Louis just laughed at him and kissed him. He took a bite of the chicken and moaned; it was so good. “Harry, this is perfect.”

Harry smiled brightly and dove into his meal. They spent the meal talking about who knows what; it was all a bit of a happy blur for them. Louis couldn’t keep his mind off of the contents of his pockets and Harry couldn’t stop staring at his flowers. He found himself playing with the petals and stems during their conversations, and it amused Louis. He was happy Harry liked it so much.

“There are so many different ones in this bouquet Lou. How did you even find all of them?” Harry asked.

“That’s for me to know, and you to not.” Louis giggled. “Do you think you know what all of them are? Prove to me right now that you actually did learn something from me all those times in the garden.”

Harry straightened up and looked quizzically at the flowers. “Alright, challenge accepted.” He put his fingers around a peculiar orange-yellow flower that sort of looked like the sun at its center. “This one is the ambrosia flower.”

Louis nodded his head. “And what does it mean?”

“Reciprocated love, come on Lou that one is easy.” Harry moved his attention to a set of purple and white flowers. “These are called Gloxinia, and they mean love at first sight.” He started blushing, because that was true for him as well. Harry knows he was Louis’ even from their first very strange encounter. He then looked at a group of smaller purple flowers, “Heliotrope. They mean eternal love.”

“That’s right.” Louis said as he inched closer to Harry on his seat.

Harry shifted himself closer and moved his fingers to a large red flower and smaller white ones in the middle. “Red Chrysanthemum, meaning I love you and Arbutus flowers, meaning only thee do I love.”

Louis smiled as he knew Harry was only on the last two flowers and that much closer to the final part of Louis’ gift. He kissed Harry’s cheek, but when Harry turned his head to kiss him some more, Louis pointed to another red flower.

“Um, red Tulip meaning the perfect lover.” Harry swallowed a breath he didn’t know he was holding and found the last kind of flower in the batch. “And that last one is a white Lily and it means purity and—oh and um, virginity. Louis what are you trying to say to me?”

Louis didn’t answer. He couldn’t bring himself to do anything but pull Harry into a passionate kiss, which Harry quickly returned. As they kissed Louis reached into his pocket and pulled out the packet and bottle, opening Harry’s hand and giving them to him. Harry gasped out of the kiss as he looked at what Louis had just handed him.

“Louis. I-I,” Harry didn’t quite know what to say about what Louis was offering him. “Louis are you sure?”

Louis just stood up from his seat and took Harry’s hand. He kissed it and nodded his head. “Yes Harry I’m sure.” Harry stood up with him now. “Please, I just want you.”

And who was Harry to argue with that? Here was Louis, the most perfect, beautiful, lovely boy he had ever met, who he loved more than anybody before, and he was offering Harry his virginity. This was a very big deal, but he couldn’t over think it. Louis was not another Nick who would just leave him as soon as he was done with him. And Harry wasn’t that way either. This was real, and it meant more than just a fuck and Harry really was done thinking about it.

He pulled Louis by his hand up the stairs and to his room, shutting the door behind him. Harry pulled Louis’ shirt off and his own, before pulling him in for another kiss. He led Louis backward to the bed and let him fall back, rather gracefully, onto it. Harry knelt down in front of him and unbuttoned his pants, pulling them down Louis’ thighs. Louis tugged at Harry’s, so he removes them and quickly climbs on top of Louis. They kiss again and slowly move up the bed with Harry lying between Louis’ legs, but Harry soon pulls back one last time.

“Louis, baby, are you absolutely sure about this?” He asked earnestly.

Louis wraps his arms around Harry’s neck and pulls him down by his curls. He kisses next to Harry’s ear and whispers “Yes, I’m absolutely sure.” And yeah, that was enough for Harry.

There is a combination of roses that have a very interesting meaning to Louis. Just orange and yellow Roses together mean passionate thoughts but as soon as you add a white Tuberose to the mix you have dangerous pleasure and passionate thoughts. Dangerous, passionate, pleasurable thoughts. Louis felt like that combination when Harry was making love to him. It wasn’t so dangerous, but it was certainly passionate and pleasurable and Louis thinks he would love to feel like those roses for the rest of his life.


	9. Orange Mock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bolded words are written and italicized words in quotes are signed words.

It had been two months. Two months since Louis and Harry first made love, and two months full of Harry not being able to keep his hands away from Louis. Of course Louis had loved every second of it. Never in his life had Louis had someone be so completely attached to him and want him so much. But the best part was that Harry was always such a gentleman about it. He always asked Louis if everything they were doing was okay and never pushed Louis into anything. For the first time in a long time Louis was actually enjoying life, rather than just floating through it.

It had also been about two months since Zayn and Liam made it official. Zayn isn’t normally that good at being romantic, but Liam brought out the best in him. Every single thing Liam did would cause Zayn to want to capture it in a painting or a sketch. He has already filled three books of Liam, his smile, his eyes, his hands, that adorable face he makes where he bites his lip when he plays his bass.

Of course Liam doesn’t know about those. Zayn would be way too embarrassed, and he would feel slightly creepy. Liam has, however, seen what Zayn likes to think of as his finest work.

For their one month anniversary (which normally Zayn would say celebrating is cheesy, but Liam wanted to, so) Liam got Zayn some new paints and Zayn presented him with his masterpiece.

_“Zayn, is this what I think it is?” Liam asked, eyes wide at the painting in his boyfriend’s hands._

_“Yes it is.” Zayn said, kissing Liam’s cheek._

_It was the painting of a very muscular (and sweaty) man’s torso, but now it was complete. There were legs covered in light washed, low hanging jeans, one propped up against a dark brick wall. One of the arms was stretched up and its hand was behind the subject’s head, while the other was down with a thumb hooked into the jeans. And the face, well the face was Liam’s. His eyes were partially closed and he was biting into his bottom lip, much like he usually did when Zayn made him nervous. The whole thing was beautiful, almost as if Zayn had snapped a picture._

_“I thought you threw this away? I thought it was trash?” Liam asked, still in awe of the portrait._

_“It was at first, but I found someone to base it off of. It’s so much better than I could have imagined.” Zayn said._

_And Liam kissed him, because he had never been anybody’s muse before. And Zayn was talented and made him feel and look beautiful._

_“So I guess you like it then?” Zayn joked._

_“Of course, I love it.” Liam kissed him some more and Zayn could get used to this being romantic thing._

Liam put the painting in his room and Zayn couldn’t help but sneak looks at it whenever they spent time there. Even when they were making out on Liam’s bed, Zayn would occasionally open his eyes to look at it.

“Zayn. What are you doing?” Liam asked one day after catching the artist staring.

“What? Oh, um nothing,” Zayn tried to cover it up by pulling Liam in for a kiss again but Liam just smirked at him.

“Were you just looking at painting me?” Liam started laughing at the blush that crept onto Zayn’s face. It wasn’t often that Zayn was the one getting embarrassed and flustered. “You know the real thing is right here, right?”

“Huh? Oh!” Zayn pulled himself together. “Of course I know that! I’m just really proud of my work is all.”

“How vain of you,” Liam started giggling at himself. “Vain! That rhymes with Zayn! Vain Zayn. Very fitting.”

“Oh ha ha. You’re very funny Liam. Can we go back to kissing now?” Zayn said, pulling on Liam’s shirt.

“Of course, vain Zayn. Just as long as you’re not staring at painting me again.” Liam said against his lips.

“Never,” Zayn said, moving his mouth against Liam’s. Liam returned it at first but quickly pulled back with a puzzle look. “Now what Li?”

“Sorry, it’s just I was supposed to ask you something…” Liam sat up and looked down as he thought. “Oh! Um, Battle of the Bands is one May 18th and we are allowed to start coming in to the arena to practice and, well, maybe you could come too, but like, you don’t have to, it’s just that—”

“Liam!” Zayn cut him off. “I’ll go, of course I’ll go. This is a big deal and I want to support you.”

“Oh, good.” Liam smiled timidly and kissed Zayn chastely. “Harry already asked Louis, so you guys can hang together. And you’ll get to meet some of the other bands! It will be fun.”

“I can’t wait.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

This was the most exciting thing Louis had ever been to in his life. And it was still only the practice! They had arrived at the arena at their designated time and were brought to what would be their dressing room during the competition. They got their schedule and were very pleased with their second to last spot; between Blonde Louis and Cher Lloyd. Louis laughed at Blonde Louis’ name and they all took it as a good sign that they were so close to them.

“Cher is really good, and we all know she got the last spot because her family is rich, but her sound can be too Poppy at times, so I think we have her beat.” Josh said, looking at the list.

“Not to mention she is fucking gorgeous.” Niall said dreamily.

“Niall’s sweet on Cher,” Harry said to Louis causing the boy to giggle and Niall to blush.

“We are after Blonde Louis though, they’re really good, so we shouldn’t watch them too much during. We don’t want to lose our confidence.” Liam replied.

“We don’t want to underestimate the other seven hands, just because they aren’t close to us.” Josh said. “But let’s be real. We are gonna kill it!” Josh jumped high in the air with his fist pumping and the other boys just laughed at him.

Louis stepped up next to Harry with their notebook in his hand. Louis still wasn’t comfortable talking out loud in front of everybody else.

**So how is all of this going to work? The competition I mean.**

Harry read the message and smiled at Louis. He grabbed his hand and pulled them out of the room, ignoring the cat calls from the other boys. He directed them into the center of the arena, where some grips were setting up some stages. He turned Louis so he could see his lips.

“So, these are going to be two stages set up on opposite ends, and while one band is performing, another will be setting up on the opposite stage. Since we are after Blonde Louis, we will be setting up during their set. Cher Lloyd is after us, so she will be setting up during ours.” Harry stopped and pointed to a booth already set up in the middle. “That’s where the judges will be sitting. We still don’t even know who any of them are. It’s kind of exhilarating, all the mystery.” Harry’s eyes twinkled as he looked around the stadium. “If we win we could be playing our very own show right here.”

Louis couldn’t help it, Harry just looked so gorgeous with the way he was smiling. He looked like he had already won, and he was biting his lip to keep in the excitement. So Louis did the only thing he could do, and he kissed Harry. Harry happily accepted it and wrapped his arms around Louis’ waist, then lifted him slightly off the ground.

“Well, isn’t this sweet.”

Harry heard a voice next to them and his whole body tensed. He pulled away from the kiss, leaving Louis confused and disappointed as he hadn’t heard the voice. He looked over to see another guy smirking at them. His dark, curly hair was styled up in a quiff and he was probably taller than Harry. He had on dark skinny jeans and Dr. Dre t-shirt, his arms crossed over his chest. Louis didn’t know who he was, so he looked back at Harry with his eyebrows scrunched together.

Harry didn’t look back at him though. Instead his eyes widened in shock and jaw locked in fear. Louis could feel how fast Harry’s heart was beating through his chest as he looked at this other boy.

“What? Not going to introduce me to your new flame Haz?” Other boy said sarcastically.

“No, I’m not actually.” Harry snapped. “And don’t call me that.” Harry yanked Louis roughly to walk away. “Come on Lou, let’s go back to the room.”

Harry’s tugging made Louis’ jacket catch onto his skin and it hurt slightly as Harry pulled them away. Louis was becoming afraid; Harry was never this way with Louis, this rough. He didn’t understand what about that boy made Harry so, well, angry.

Finally, the two boys were back at the dressing room, but Louis was still afraid of what Harry would do Zayn seemed to catch onto that as soon as they entered the room, because he was immediately on his feet.

“What the hell happened? _Louis? Are you okay?_ ” Zayn asked as he pulled Louis away from Harry.

Harry looked at Louis properly for the first time and instantly regretted his actions. Louis was on the verge of tears and he was pushing Zayn away from his.

“ _I’m fine, I’m fine. Ask Harry who that was._ ” He signed to Zayn.

“Louis wants to know who it was you saw.” Zayn asked harshly.

“What? Who did you see?” Liam asked, clearly concerned at everything that was happening.

“I, um, it was Nick.” Harry said quietly, bot able to look at anyone directly.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT CUNTBAG DOING HERE?” Niall yelled angrily. “I swear to god Harry, I’ll tear him apart.”

“Yeah, and I’ll fucking help.” Josh chimed in. “Do you think he’s following you or something?”

“Why the fuck would he do that?” Harry snapped. “I’m nothing to him and he’s nothing to me. Louis? Please look at me, baby. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have acted that way.”

Louis nodded his head to show he accepted the apology, and kissed Harry while Zayn scoffed behind them.

“Don’t think I’m going to let this off so easily. You could have really hurt him, pulling him around like that, Harry.”

“ _I’m not a helpless baby Zayn._ ” Louis signed.

“Louis. Not now.” Zayn signed back quickly. “But you.” Zayn pointed at Harry. “What the fuck is going on with you. And why the fuck is Nick here?”

“Look, Zayn, I’m sorry. I would never hurt Louis okay? You know that. Nick just, he caught me off guard alright? I wasn’t expecting to see him and he, he makes me so angry.” Harry said, frustrated at himself and the situation. “But I didn’t stick around to ask why the fuck he is here.” Harry slumped down on a chair behind him.

Liam put a hand on Harry’s shoulder and squeezed comfortingly. “I’ll go out and ask why he’s here, okay? You just stay here and calm down.”

Harry nodded his head and Louis sat down next to him, picking up his hand and kissing the fingers. “I’m sorry Lou, I love you. You know that right?”

“Yes, of course.” Louis whispered. “I love you too.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

As it turns out Nick is the MC for the competition and gets to be at every practice, which really just gets on Harry’s nerves. He tries to talk to the boys, taunting them whenever they were near, but they just ignored him. Harry made sure to keep Louis as far away from Nick as possible.

It was at the third arena practice that everything went south. Louis and Zayn were standing at the edge of the practice stage, watching the boys as usual. Nick was across the arena, occasionally looking over at Harry and smirking, much to Louis’ chagrin. He had caught Nick looking at his boyfriend several times and each time he would send him his best death glare. If Nick saw him, which was almost every time, he would just wink at the boy.

Eventually the boys took a break and Harry sat down on the stage with Louis between his legs. He kissed Louis then took a sip of his water. “What do you think so far?”

“Well, it looks good!” Louis giggled. “Actually I’m pretty sure it sounds good to. I feel the vibrations through the floor. It goes right up into my chest and it’s almost like I feel it in my soul.”

“God, I love you.” Harry said quickly as he kissed Louis again. He finished his water and jumped off the stage. “I’ll be right back, okay? I’m gonna get some more water from the dressing room?”

“Okay, I’ll wait with the other boys.” Louis said as he kissed Harry’s cheek, and then walked over to Zayn and the rest of the band.

Harry made his way to the dressing room as quickly as he could to get more water. When he got to the room he went straight to the mini-fridge and grabbed another bottle. When he turned around, however, he was met with a smiling Nick standing in the doorway.

“What the fuck do you want Grimshaw?” Harry asked sternly. He wouldn’t even look at him properly.

“Awe, can’t a man visit his old flame, alone, in a dressing room?” Nick said slyly. He walked fully into the room and sat on one chair, propping his legs up on another.

“Not when that man is a twat who broke said old flame’s heart.” Harry said. “Now can you leave me the fuck alone?”

“Afraid I can’t do that, love.” Nick laughed. “At least not while you are traipsing around your new man candy. Good choice by the way, he’s got a great arse.”

“SHUT UP! You don’t get to talk about Louis.” Harry yelled at him. “I understand you are here for a job, but I don’t want you near me and I especially don’t want you near him.”

Nick just shrugged, he chuckled as he got up from the chair and approached Harry slowly, “What’s it like, hmm? Having a deaf boyfriend? Yeah, I know about him, not exactly a secret.”

Harry backed up and Nick crowded him against the wall. Harry’s whole body heated up with anger. “Fuck off Nick.”

Nick put his hands on either side of the wall beside Harry’s head. “Must be so… _taxing_ , knowing he can never hear your music, your voice. I always liked your voice Harry; when you’d sing, when you’d talk, when you’d _moan_.” Nick was right against Harry’s ear now. “Poor little Louis, he won’t ever get to enjoy the sounds you make.”

And that was it. Harry tried to push Nick away, he tried so hard. But Nick was so much bigger and he was crowded into Harry’s space, so Harry couldn’t stop it. Nick pushed their lips together roughly and dropped one of his hands to Harry’s waist.

Suddenly there was a soft gasp from the doorway. Harry was able to push Nick off of him, but he was met with a sight that broke his heart. Louis was standing in the doorway, eyes wide, tears forming in his blue eyes, and head shaking in disbelief.

“No.” Harry tried to say, but his voice cracked. “No, Louis, wait!” He watched as Louis cried and ran from the door. Harry pushed Nick fully off of him and slapped him across the face for good measure.

Harry ran out the door and chased Louis down the hall a bit before he caught up to him. He wrapped his arms around Louis from behind and kissed up his neck until he tasted the salty tears that had run down it. Louis was trembling in Harry’s arms and he wiggled his way out of them.

“Louis, please, what you saw—it wasn’t what you think.” Harry stuttered out.

“No! Harry I can’t believe you!” Louis yelled at him. Harry had never seen Louis angry before, but this Louis was just plain livid.

Harry started crying himself. “Louis please. I love you!”

“FUCK YOU HARRY.” Louis yelled. “You don’t get to say that anymore.”

Harry cried harder and tried to grab Louis’ cheek. “No, Louis. You- you don’t mean that.” He said quietly.

Louis just pushed him and ran away without looking back. He ran back to the stage and pulled Zayn away from the other boys.

“ _Zayn. Take me home right now._.” He signed through his tears.

“ _What? Why? Louis what’s wrong?_ ” Zayn asked urgently.

“ _I will explain in the car, just please! I need to leave_.” Louis signed, sobbing even harder.

And Zayn didn’t ask any more questions; just got out his keys and led them to his car. He didn’t even tell Liam why he was leaving.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

An hour later Zayn found himself back at the arena and banging on the dressing room door. “Harry! You fucking prick! Open this door!”

Liam had been trying to calm him down but nothing was working. “Zayn please! Harry told us what happened!”

“Then you know why I have to kick his fucking teeth in.” Zayn snapped.

“Zayn no! Please, he’s my best mate. He is in a fragile state and if you would calm down, I’m sure he could explain his side.” Liam said, grabbing Zayn’s hands from the door. “Baby, please.”

Zayn sighed and slumped into Liam’s arms. He kissed him once and knocked on the door, calmly. “Harry? Let’s just talk, mate. Please?”  
After a few seconds Harry opened the door. His eyes were red rimmed and he just looked wrecked all over. “Calmly talk, right?”

“Yes, Harry.” Zayn closed the door behind him and sat in one of the chairs. “Just sit down and tell me what happened.”

Harry nodded his head and sniffled into his sleeve. “I-I was getting more water and Nick surprised me, so I yelled at him. And then he cornered me and forced me into a-a kiss.” Harry sobbed harder. “Louis walked in right then and he saw us and he ran, he looked so heart broken, and when I went after him, he wouldn’t let me explain what happened, and god! I didn’t do anything Zayn! You have to believe me! I love him, I would never do that to him. I love him.”

Zayn looked at the sobbing mess in front of him and honestly, he believed him. Harry looked so broken and full of regret. Zayn leaned forward on his seat and rested his hands on Harry’s knees. “Harry, I believe you.”

Harry pulled himself together and looked up at him. “You-you do? Really?”

“Yes, and, now I can’t believe I’m doing this, I’m going to help you get him back.”


	10. Hyacinth and Lilac

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> italicized words in quotes are signed words.

Have you ever been in such a state of shock that you can’t even think? You can barely move, and frankly you don’t want to. You lie on your bed and stare at the ceiling and wonder, how the hell did this even happen? One second you are holding the hand of the most wonderful boy in the world, and the next he is snogging his ex-boyfriend (who has been creepily watching you) and who said wonderful boy claimed to hate. At least that was the situation for Louis Tomlinson at the moment.

The flowers outside his window were withering away, and Louis stopped caring. This is about the time Lottie started worrying. She didn’t usually poke around in Louis’ life, especially since it had been going so well lately, but he just wasn’t the same for the past few days. If the dying flowers weren’t enough of an indicator then the fact that Louis stayed home from school on Monday certainly was. Lottie knew that Louis didn’t particularly like school, but he would never miss it. He was a good student who never skipped. So when Lottie got back from school that day she went straight to Louis’ room to ask what the hell was going on with him.

The sight that greeted her wasn’t the most pleasant one. The pictures from Zayn on all the walls had fallen out of place and clothes were thrown everywhere; needless to say it was not the tidy thing it usually was. Louis was lying face down on his bed, the covers pulled up to his ears and his eyes squeezed tightly shut.

Lottie took a moment to look at her clearly-not-asleep brother before talking to him. She had no idea what people meant when they said the siblings looked the same. Sure they had the same blue, mischievous eyes and thin lips, but Louis was much curvier than she was and she had light blonde hair as opposed to his brown hair.

Lottie often got comments about how they were an attractive family and it was just such a shame that her brother was deaf. Lottie didn’t think it was a shame. She didn’t think much of anything about it at all really. To her it was just that Louis was her fun, silly, flower loving, quiet brother and he also happened to be deaf. For a while she would yell at people who wanted to treat him differently or speak lower of him, but eventually she accepted the fact that most people just didn’t get it. Most people saw Louis’ differently-abledness (as she had come to call it) and couldn’t see the boy past it. 

That is until Louis met Harry. Lottie loved Harry because like her and Zayn, he loved Louis for Louis and didn’t even focus on his deafness. But Louis hadn’t mentioned Harry the last three days. In fact he was with Harry before he came home in tears and never left his room. Lottie loved Harry, she really did, and she couldn’t imagine him doing anything wrong, but alas here she was at Louis’ door, about to get the answer she really didn’t want.

Lottie shook herself out of her thoughts and sat down on Louis’ bed. She lay herself down so she was facing her brother and shook him until he opened his eyes.  
“ _I knew you weren’t asleep._ ” She signed to him.

“ _You were right. Want a prize?_ ” Louis signed before closing his eyes again.

Lottie huffed and pushed Louis off of his bed.

“Ow! What the fuck was that for?” Louis asked, rubbing his side he landed on.

“You have been up here, not talking to me, for the past three days. I just want to know what’s wrong.” Lottie said. She slid off of Louis’ bed and sat down across from him on the floor. “ _I’m your sister Lou; I just want to help you._ ”

“ _Nothing’s wrong with me._ ” Louis signed before crossing his arms, not bothering to get up from the floor.

“Yes there is! _Is it Harry? You haven’t mentioned him this whole time. Did something happen with you guys?_ ” Lottie asked.

Louis squirmed where he sat, but didn’t leave like Lottie expected him to. “ _Yes okay. Yes something happened and I really don’t want to talk about it._ ”

“ _But you have to talk about it._ ” Lottie rubbed her hands over Louis’ knees to comfort him. “ _Nothing will get better until you have talked about it. I won’t press you too hard, but I want you to be happy again._ ”

“It’s a bit of a long story.” Louis said.

Lottie smiled at him and lean back against the bed. “ _I’m not going anywhere._ ”

So Louis finally opened up to his sister. He told her everything that he had been vague about to her before. He told her about what happened at New Year’s Eve and then on Harry’s birthday (but not too much detail, she’s still his younger sister). He told her about when both boys said I love you for the first time. He told her about going to watch Harry’s live practices and Zayn and Liam being together. And finally he told her about what happened 3 days ago when he saw Harry with Nick.

“ _But why didn’t you let him explain what happened?_ ” Lottie asked when he was done.

“ _What was there to explain Lottie? He said he hated Nick and then the prick shows up out of nowhere and then they are kissing in the dressing room. It seems pretty straight forward to me._ ” Louis snapped.

“But Harry said he loved you and I believe him. It all just sounds fishy to me. Why would Harry give up someone like you for a boy who already broke his heart? That just doesn’t sound like something he would do.” Lottie said as she stood up and sat crossed legged back on his bed.

“ _I know and nothing makes sense but why would Harry kiss him? Why wouldn’t he stop him? There must be something more!_ ” Louis cried. He stood up as well and joined her on the bed.

“ _I think you should talk to him._ ” Lottie said plainly.

“ _I don’t want to see him, thank you very much._ ” Louis signed quickly, lying back on the bed.

Lottie sighed but nodded her head. She didn’t want to be the one to try to push Louis into anything. She got up from the bed and kissed her brother’s cheek before leaving the room. As soon as she was out of the door she picked up her phone and called Zayn.

“Zayn? You need to come here and get Louis to fix things with Harry… Yeah he just told me the whole story, congrats on Liam by the way… What do you mean you already have a plan?”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It was the day. THE day. The day Zayn was going to fix everything and be a big hero. The plan was all set with Harry and the band so now all he had was the hard part. The hard part being getting Louis to actually show up to the competition. He was already at Louis’ house waiting outside his bedroom door with Lottie, neither one of them brave enough to get him to come out.

“You sure this is a good idea?” Lottie asked Zayn.

Zayn gulped as he stared at Luis’ door. “Um, yeah. It should be fine. I mean, sure, at school he doesn’t even so much as look at Harry anymore, nor does he answer the many messages I’m sure Harry has been sending, and he certainly doesn’t go to the roof garden anymore, but yeah, it should be fine.”

Lottie rolled her eyes at the older boy. “You don’t sound too sure about this.”

Zayn shook his head. “No. It will work. I told Liam and Harry I would fix everything and I’m going to fix everything!” He garnered his strength and pushed open the door.

Louis had been sitting on his bed reading, so he immediately looked up when Zayn entered. With a confused frown he put down his book so he could sign to Zayn. “ _What are you doing here?_ ”

“ _It’s May 18th. Do you know what that means?_ ” Zayn looked at Louis sternly.

“Hmm, _Nope. Goodbye now._ ” Louis signed picking his book back up.

“Louis! It’s the Battle of the Bands and you know that!” Zayn yelled as he took the book out of Louis’ hands. “ _You and I are going. Now get up._ ”

Louis glared at Zayn. He couldn’t believe Zayn would try to make him go see Harry. The last time Louis checked, Zayn didn’t trust Harry with apparent good reason. “ _Why the fuck should I go?_ ”

“ _I know you’re mad at Harry, and frankly if you just talked to him everything would be fine, but no you have to sit here and mope._ ” Zayn said pointedly. “ _You should at least go today to support Liam._ ” He said the last part a little quieter.

Louis opened his mouth and lifted his hands to say something else, but he stopped himself. Zayn looked so sincere in wanting to support Liam, and Louis was still happy for them. He knew he would have to see Harry, but that didn’t mean he would have to interact with him. “ _Fine. But only for Liam. I do not want to talk to Harry, but I will go._ ”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Louis didn’t immediately regret it when he got to the arena with Zayn. There were a lot of people around who were all wearing obscure band shirts and he knew the music was loud because he could feel it in his feet. They had gotten there in time for the beginning of Blonde Louis’ set, so that meant One Direction would be next. That was good for Louis because that meant he could just get this whole thing over with.

Zayn led them away from the crowd around Blonde Louis’ stage and to the other one where 1D was setting up. Josh, Niall, and Liam were setting up the instruments, while Harry was nowhere in sight. Liam looked up and smiled widely at the site of the boys, jumping off the stage quickly and greeting Zayn with a kiss. They whispered something that Louis couldn’t see to each other and then Liam turned to him.

“Louis! I’m so happy you came! I know things aren’t really good between you and Harry but I know you will still have fun.” Liam said with a smile.

“ _I’ll try._ ” Luis signed with a small smile. He looked around some more at the people watching the competition and was beginning to become overwhelmed by it all. He was feeling slightly lightheaded but he was going to stay with Zayn, so he pulled them away quickly to get some water.

Zayn shrugged his shoulders at Liam with an apologetic look and followed Louis to one of the stands. He turned around for only a moment to get the water but when he turned back again, Louis was gone. He looked around, confused, and tried to determine where Louis could have gone; he didn’t like crowds like this.

As it turns out Louis was just behind the stand that Zayn bought the water from, cowering away from a mystery person. “Lou? Are you okay?”

Louis shook his head and pointed to the MC booth next to them and a cocky looking Nick Grimshaw smiling out at the crowd.

“Oh Lou. It’s not a big deal. I’m sure he won’t even see you okay? Let’s just get back to the band quickly and he won’t bother you.” Zayn said, forcing Louis out of his hiding spot.  
Louis huffed but he followed close behind Zayn, keeping his head down the whole way to not be seen. Sadly their efforts were for not, because just as they were getting back to the stage, a huge rough hand grabbed Louis by the shoulder and turned him around harshly.

“Well, well, well look what I’ve come across.” Nick said with a sly smile. “You know, you’re much prettier than you were when you were crying.”

Thankfully Nick was speaking clear enough so Louis could see what he was saying, but that didn’t mean he liked it. Nick was complementing him, yes, but he said it in such a condescending way that made Louis tense up and frown. He angrily jerked himself out of Nick’s hands and tried to walk away, but Nick stopped him again.

“Kitty’s got claws huh?” He was still smirking at him. “Didn’t know Harry liked ‘em feisty. I know I certainly do.”

And now Louis was starting to get nervous. He didn’t like the way Nick was talking to him, and he didn’t like the way he couldn’t seem to get away from him, and he really didn’t like the way nobody had come to help him. He wanted to yell at Nick. He wanted to scream at him for kissing the love of his life and treating him like some play thing. But he wouldn’t talk out-loud. His voice was only for his loved ones to hear.

Thankfully a pair of big, pale hands pulled Nick off of Louis and pushed him harshly into a group of people. Louis looked up to see a fuming Harry glaring at Nick.

“Ahh, Hazza! We were just talking about you!” Nick said. Did he ever stop smirking? “Well, I was talking and Louis was listening. Then again I guess he wasn’t.”

“Shut the fuck up Nick.” Harry barked. “I told you to stay away from him and I mean it. I have no problem getting disqualified for kicking your sorry ass.”

Nick re-situated himself but somehow kept a hint of mischief in his eyes, even as he scowled at them. “Alright, calm down, calm down. I will go, you’re no fun anymore Haz. Honestly you are the farthest thing from intimidating Harry. Goodbye _Louis._ ” And with that he fixed his jacket and walked back into the crowd.

Harry kept glaring until he was sure Nick was gone and then he turned to Louis. He put his hands on Louis’ cheeks so he could look at his face. “Baby, are you okay?”

Louis nodded his head but kept his eyes on the ground, taking Harry’s hands off of his cheeks.

“Lou? Please look at me Lou. Baby please.” Harry pleaded, tears starting in his eyes. He couldn’t believe Louis wouldn’t even look at him.

“Louis! There you are!” Zayn came out of the crowd from the stage and pulled Louis into a hug. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even know you had disappeared! I—oh! Harry, um…” Zayn turned his head so Louis couldn’t see what he was saying. “Did you guys get a chance to talk?”

Harry shook his head and slumped his way to the stage, looking back at Louis one more time. He sighed in defeat when Louis looked away once again. Zayn shakes his head at the boy’s stubbornness and takes him to seats that are just above the One Direction stage and close to their speakers, that way Louis can “listen” to them.

Blonde Louis finishes up their set to a very big cheer from the crowd. A few minutes later it’s time for One Direction to start and Nick’s face appears on the big screen to present them.

“Wasn’t Blonde Louis fucking awesome!” The crowd continues to cheer loudly. “Up next we have yet another group of young handsome boys, I certainly hope they go in my direction someday. It’s ONE DIRECTION!”

The crowd goes wild for the boys. Louis can tell because Zayn has to cover his ears with his hands. He knew they were a favorite, but he had no idea of just how big their fan base was. All throughout the performance Zayn would tell Louis about the songs and the crowd’s reactions, but all Louis could focus on was Harry.

Maybe Louis wasn’t as mad at Harry as he originally thought he was, or at least he wasn’t anymore. The way Harry had been so protective of Louis when Nick was bothering him was so, wonderful. He was so mad at Nick for even being near Louis and he clearly didn’t want him close to him either. Maybe Louis did over react about the whole kiss thing. And now, looking at Harry on that stage, Louis was in awe. He looked so confident, so happy, and Louis didn’t even know what he was saying.

After a while Zayn turned to Louis and told him that their set was almost finished and they were going to start their last song. Louis was relieved. This wasn’t as stressful or as unnerving as he originally thought, but he was still hesitant about being in Harry’s presence. 

Louis could feel that they hadn’t started their last song and when he looked at the stage, all he could see was the band huddled together, clearly discussing something important.

“ _Do you know what they are talking about?_ ” Louis asked Zayn.

Zayn only winked at him and flashed him a smile, leaving the boy confused as he stared at them. Pretty soon they dispersed from the huddle and Harry was brought a stool to sit on in front of the microphone. He motioned for everyone in the crowd to calm down and he set the mike close to his lips.

“First off, I wanted to thank you so much for enjoying our set tonight! Even if we don’t win it will have been a pleasure playing for all of you.” Harry says as loud cheers come from the crowd. “This is our last song for the night and it’s going to be done a little differently.” 

Louis watched Harry up on the big screen above the stage and could barely make out what he was saying. It was something about the next song being different. Louis expected maybe Harry to start singing some slow acoustic pop song that sounded better than the original. He definitely didn’t expect what Harry did instead.

Harry looked up in Louis’ general direction and winked right him with a nervous smile. He then lifted his hands up and started signing along with he was saying. WAIT? SIGNING? “ _This last song is also our last cover, and it’s called Flowers in the Window by Travis. I would like to dedicate it to someone very special to me._ ”

Louis jerked his head over to Zayn, who looked a t him with a hopeful expression. “ _Did you know about this? How long has he been able to do that?_ ”

“ _Yes I’ve actually known the whole time, it was my bloody idea thank you very much. And he signed up for lessons months ago. He told me he was waiting until he was fluent until he showed you._ ” Zayn said.

Louis’ lips quirked up in a very small smile. “ _Months? Is he really fluent?_ ”

“ _I’d say he is going to be very soon. Now watch him!_ ” Zayn said turning Louis around to face the stage again.

Harry kept his eyes directed at Louis for the whole song and it made Louis’ heart melt. “ _When I first held you I was cold. A melting snowman I was told. But there was no one there to hold before. I swore that I would be alone forever more. Oh wow look at you now, flowers in the window. It’s such a lovely day and I’m glad you feel the same. Because to stand up out in the crowd you are one in a million. And I love you so let’s watch the flowers grow._ ”

Louis stood up and practically jumped down the stairs. He just had to get close to Harry now. How could he have been so stupid before?

“ _There is no reason to feel bad, but there are many seasons to feel glad, sad, mad. It’s just a bunch of feelings that we have to hold, but I am here to help you with the load._ ” Harry’s eyes followed Louis as he ran to him.

By the time Louis pushed through the crowd and got to the stage the song was almost over and he had tears running down his face. But this time they were tears of joy. He beamed up at the perfect, wonderful boy singing and signing to him from the stage.

“ _Oh wow look at you now, flowers in the window. It’s such a lovely day and I’m glad you feel the same. Because to stand up out in the crowd you are one in a million. And I love you so let’s watch the flowers grow. Let’s watch the flowers grow._ ”

When the band finished the crowd went crazy. Well, Louis is just assuming it was because he could see everyone around him smiling widely and jumping about and clapping and the boys were cheering each other. Harry hadn’t stopped looking at Louis, so he just laughed at him up there. They had a few moments where they were the only two in the whole world. Looking at each other and thinking, how the hell did we let things go sour? The moment was broken when Nick appeared on the stage (typical) to send them off so he could introduce Cher on the other stage. Though this time Harry stood as far away from him as possible.

As soon as the boys were officially done and the crowd had moved on to the last performer (which had taken a really long time to accomplish, because everyone couldn’t get enough of them), Harry disappeared backstage and Louis was once again alone. Zayn quickly appeared behind him, only scaring the boy a little with his greeting.

“ _So what did you think?_ ” he asked with a smile.

“ _I think you shouldn’t keep secrets with my boyfriend from me._ ” Louis signed, playfully punching Zayn’s arm.

“ _Boyfriend? So you don’t hate him then? My evil plan worked?_ ” Zayn asked, although he already knew the answer.

“ _Shut up._ ” Louis signed at him.

Just then Liam and Josh jumped down from the stage. Liam was immediately pulled into an obnoxiously long kiss with Zayn and josh just laughed at them. He hugged Louis and pulled him away from the boys, who were practically making out now.

“ _What did you think?_ ” he asked Louis. Louis almost forgot he knew sign language.

“ _I loved it! You all looked amazing and that last song! Oh god this was so good Josh!_ ” Louis signed enthusiastically.

“ _And you and Harry? Is everything okay with you guys? He was so torn up when you saw what happened._ ” Josh said sincerely.

“ _I loved what he did, and I can’t believe he learned sign language for me, but I still want to talk to him before anything else happens._ ” Louis told him. Josh nodded his head in agreement and Louis looked around them. “ _Where’s Niall?_ ”

Josh threw his head back in laughter. “ _He’s watching his angel Cher over at the other stage. I swear if she asked him, he would leave us in a heartbeat._ ”

Before Louis could respond he saw Josh lift his hand up and point at something behind him. There stood Harry, with probably the biggest bouquet of purple Hyacinth and Lilacs Louis had ever seen. He rushed over to him and almost knocked the flowers right out of the boy’s hands.

“Harry! I can’t believe all of this!” Louis said. He forgot about the explanations he was owed for a moment to kiss the brightly smiling Harry. Harry kissed him right back but soon pulled away to properly give Louis the flowers.

“Lou! I’m so sorry! What you saw, it wasn’t anything. Nick isn’t anything to me! He caught me off guard and had me in a corner and I didn’t mean to.” Harry said quickly. “I love you Louis Tomlinson. I love you so much.”

Louis didn’t give Harry any more time to explain himself. He just took the flowers from his hands had jumped into his arms for a bruising kiss. “I know Harry, I know. I’m sorry too. I over reacted. I didn’t even let you explain. I love you Harry Styles. How could I not? You learned Sign Language for me. Nobody since Zayn when we were kids has bothered to do that for me.”

“I know that, and those people are idiots. It was so fucking difficult, but you were worth every minute of it.” Harry said. “But this doesn’t mean you will talk less does it? Because I want you to talk still, I love your voice Louis.”

Louis smiled and nodded his head. “Of course I will still talk out loud for you.”

Harry leaned in to kiss Louis again but he was interrupted by Josh. “Oi lovebirds! I’m glad everything is all good again, but you have an audience.” He said as he pointed to the MC booth. The boys looked over to see Nick glaring back at them and they just laughed.

“Let him look.” Harry said, finally kissing Louis again.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It was almost Midnight, and this was officially the latest Louis had ever stayed out without being at someone else’s house. The whole band was waiting in the dressing room for the judges to finish up their decision. They were so close, so close to winning and having their dreams come true. Nobody was talking, they couldn’t say anything at all. Anne and Josh’s brother, Ben, had joined them and even they were standing in silence.

Zayn and Liam were sitting together on the couch at one end, hand in hand. Ben and Niall were at the other end watching Josh pace at the center of the room. Anne was sitting next to Harry, who had Louis in his lap, at the table close to the door. Louis was nuzzling his nose into Harry’s neck and playing with his fingers.

After a few more minutes there was a knock on the door and one of the stage managers opened the door to inform them it was time to find out who won. Everyone looked around at each other, letting out breaths they forgot they were holding, and left the room as a collective group.

They made their way through the cheering crowds and Harry turned back to kiss Louis one more time before joining the other boys on the main stage. Anne slipped an arm around Louis’ shoulders and led him to a spot by the stage to watch the results. 

Nick stood up on the stage and started saying something, but Louis didn’t bother to look at him. He just looked at Harry and the other boys, all of whom were staring at the judges nervously. Louis refused to look at Nick, so it was a complete shock when the crowd started jumping and cheering and the whole band jumped into each other’s arms.

Louis looked back at Anne who had started crying, and Zayn who was trying to climb onto the stage, and Gemma and Ben hugging each other. That’s when he knew, they had done it. One Direction had won.

Harry was scooping him up from out of nowhere in no time, pulling him into a tight hug. “ _We did it Lou! We won! I can’t believe this!_ ”

“ _I know Harry! I know!_ ” Louis signed as he pulled Harry back into the hug. Harry kissed his cheek and Louis turned his head to look at him again.

“A record deal Louis. We’re gonna get a record deal, and then maybe we will actually go on tour!” Harry said. “Oh god. I love you Louis.”

“I love you to Harry.”


	11. Epilogue

The bell over the door of _Styles Arrangements_ pinged softly through the shop. They hadn’t actually opened yet, but seeing as this was Harry’s shop, he was allowed in at any time. Especially now, because Harry hadn’t been home in three months. Instead he had been with his band, recording their very first album in London. Everything happened so quickly after they won the battle of the bands; they were signed the next day, given a management team, and a whole recording schedule. Of course they had to make a few more original songs, their album couldn’t be full of covers, but before they knew it they had a fifteen song album ready. Only, like, two of them are about Louis, at least that’s what Harry swears.

Recording all summer was the best time of Harry’s life, and also the worst, because well, he had been away from Louis. Perfect Louis who Harry had literally just fixed things with, and he had to leave him all summer long. Louis said he didn’t mind, he was happy for him after all, but Harry still felt guilty. Louis knew he would have to get used to it if Harry’s band was going to be successful, so he spent a lot of the summer with Anne.

Anne had given Louis Harry’s job at the shop about a week after Harry had to quit. Louis took the offer immediately, and ever since he had enjoyed waking up each day to go to the flower shop. The customers adored Louis and his knowledge of the flowers. Anne had set up the boy’s white board by the front desk so people could ask him questions if they couldn’t sign and so far it had been a huge success.

Along with working at the shop, Louis had signed up for classes at a local university and often helped Anne with planning the weddings. He decided he really liked planning weddings, might even make a career of it.

He hadn’t told Harry that yet, even though they skyped every night and texted every day. Harry had gotten good enough at Sign Language for Skype to be an acceptable form of communication for them. But three months of not seeing each other in person was taking its toll on Louis. Because he couldn’t be comforted by the sound of Harry’s voice, he had gotten used to Harry’s touch. And it was three months since he was able to touch Harry, seeing him on a screen wasn’t just enough.

Harry hadn’t told Louis when he would be coming home, he didn’t even know himself until the day before, and so when he found out, he wanted it to be a surprise.

He rounded a corner of flowers and saw Louis, back facing him, erasing the white board. Harry stopped by a pot of Crocus, purple flowers with yellow centers, a plucked a single flower from the stem. He then walked right up behind Louis and reached around so the flower was in front of his face.

Louis’ breathed hitched and he dropped the towel in his hand. He would recognize those hands anywhere. Without saying anything else, Louis grabbed the flower, turned around, and kissed the smiling boy behind him, throwing his arms around his neck and almost knocking them both over.

“Harry! I missed you so much! What are you doing here?” Louis asked excitedly.

“We finished recording, so I’m going to be home for a while. I wanted to surprise you.” Harry said as kissed Louis cheek. “I missed you too baby. The other boys are gonna meet us here, and then we figured we could all go to lunch.”

“My break’s in fifteen minutes so that’s perfect. Has Liam seen Zayn yet?” Louis asked.

“Yup, he stopped by Zayn’s house this morning. I imagine they’re still, um, _catching up_.” Harry laughed. He jumped suddenly and his eyes widened with excitement. “Oh! I almost forgot! Niall’s got a date tonight, and you’ll never guess who with.”

Louis rolled his eyes. He had an idea of who it was but he didn’t want to spoil Harry’s fun. “Who?”

Harry smirked. “Cher Lloyd.”

“What? Oh, how surprising!” Louis gasped with feigned shock.

“Okay, how did you know?” Harry asked, a little disappointed.

“Josh told me he never shut about her.” Louis said kissing Harry again. “I’m happy for him though! Speaking of Josh, has he got anybody?”

“Nah, Josh is enjoying the single life. But every girl loves a drummer, so I’m sure he will get plenty of offers soon enough.” Harry trailed a hand down Louis’ arm to hold onto his hand. He pulled them around the desk to sit in the chair, with Louis in his lap. “So, is there anything that I’ve missed that you haven’t told me?”

“Hmmm. Well Zayn got into that Art School! I don’t know if Liam told you or anything. And Lottie got a boyfriend, he seems pretty nice. I’ve been spending a lot of time with your mother and sister.” Louis said.

Harry laughed at the last part. “Trust me baby, I know about that. Gem sends me messages every time. I knew about the Art School thing too. That’s great for him. What about you? When do your classes start?”

“Next week actually. Not that exciting.” Louis started playing with the tiny Lily necklace Harry had given him. “Well, I mean there is this one thing, but I’m still not sure about it yet.”

“Oh? And what’s that?” Harry asked.

“Well, I told you how I’ve been spending a lot of time helping your mother with the wedding planning right? The university offers a two year program and I could get like certified and then work for her officially. Well, I could work anywhere really, but I prefer your mother.” Louis said, still looking at the necklace.

Harry tipped Louis’ chin up so he was looking at him and he smiled brightly. “Lou, that’s wonderful! Is that what you want to do? Plan weddings?”

Louis shrugged. “I never really thought about it, but I’ve had a lot of fun with it.” Louis got up from Harry’s lap (leaving the other boy slightly disappointed) and leaned back against the desk. “The only problem is that I would need an interpreter or a partner who can sign at all times, and who even knows if anyone would be interested in that, so I don’t know, maybe I could just work here, help your mom manage it or something—”

“LOUIS!” Harry said as he got up from the seat, waving his hands to get the other boy to stop. He stepped forward and put his hands on Louis’ cheeks. “Don’t worry about all of that. If this is what you want to do, then you should do it. Everything else will work itself out.”

Louis sighed and nodded his head. “You’re right. There is one more thing, I don’t know if your mom mentioned it to you yet. It’s kind of why I’m thinking about wedding planning in the first place.” Harry gave him a confused look so Louis continued. “Well, Anne really wants to expand the store, make an entire Wedding Planning section for it, and then eventually she wants to add another store.”

Harry’s lips quirked up into a small smile. “She mentioned that briefly I think. What about all that?”

Louis ran his hands up Harry’s sides. “You see, the next store she wants to try and open will most likely be in London, and since I will be certified in two years, that means I could possibly run it. In London. Where you will be living because of the band.”

“Oh! Louis that’s perfect!” Harry said as he kissed his boyfriend again. “You can live with me, when I’m not touring of course, and we’ll be this big power couple like Posh and Becks! You would be Posh of course. Oh, or maybe I’ll get a bunch of tattoos and piercings like a real rocker and you can be like my trophy model boyfriend with flowers in your hair. Or maybe—”

“Okay! Now you’re rambling.” Louis laughed. “And I’m not wearing flowers in my hair. And you aren’t getting any piercings. Now tattoos on the other hand… I could live with a few of those on you think.”

“Hmm, I’ll start on those then.” Harry said quietly as he kissed Louis slowly.

Louis kissed him back and pretty soon Harry had lifted him up onto the counter with Louis’ legs wrapped around his waist. “I think your mother would live if I closed five minutes early.” Louis whispered against Harry’s lips.

“Okay, okay, want to go then?” Harry asked.

“You bet.” Louis said as he hopped down from the counter.

“Oh, and Lou? Just one more thing.” Harry said, stepping back a little from Louis. He then pointed to himself, crossed his arms, and pointed back at Louis.

Louis’ breath hitched, he giggled and shook his head. “I love you too.”

And with that Louis grabbed Harry’s hands and led him out of the shop. They walked hand in hand down the street, and Louis liked to think this is what was perfect. All of the things that happened and all of the things that were falling into place in the near future.

As they walked, the boys passed a patch of Stock flowers; these small pink flowers that grew in groups on long stems. They represented the bonds of affection. Some books had said they meant ‘You will always be beautiful to me’. Louis looked at those flowers and then at Harry and thought, yes those would be the flowers for him. Much like Louis always felt connected to those Stargazers that waited for him in the hospital after his accident, he would look at the Stock flowers and think of Harry.

After a while they had passed several more patches of the flowers so Louis stopped and picked some up for Harry. He gave to him along with a kiss, and Harry knew what they meant right away. And in years to come, after One Direction had many successes and Louis and Harry were happily married, Louis would come home with Stocks that always kept Harry smiling. And every time Harry left or came back from a tour he would bring Louis Stargazers (wealth, prosperity, and purity) and Louis could feel it to.

But for now they didn’t know about any of that. They didn’t know about the struggles they would endure or the events they would have to cope with, or the happiness they would receive after all of it. No, they were just walking to Louis’ house, hand and flowers in hand, blissfully unaware, but completely in love.

_FIN._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sad it's over! but i cant wait to start on a new project! Thank you to everyone who read this!! I love you all <3


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